Less Words, More Love

Frugal Gardening 101- Humble Beginnings

2011-05-04T12:49:00.007-05:00

Finally, something blooming!

I posted back in March about our garden aspirations for this year. Since then, we've had a few obstacles come up. Our first batch of seeds did fantastic, but our cats decided the little seedlings looked delicious and ate the tops of all but one. Sigh. So, we started over.

Then as April rolled around, the old adage about April showers really proved to be true. We had several weeks of nonstop rain and cloudy days. The ground couldn't be tilled, and is just today being done. Although I can't really complain about storms and rain, compared to the devastation the folks down south are dealing with.

So, today we're tilling the ground and getting started planting the cool weather crops. Potatoes, onions, garlic, lettuce, spinach, kale, carrots, turnips, radishes, peas and cabbage will be planted over the next few days. We have 6 varieties of tomatoes, jalapenos and bell peppers, and eggplant growing in our basement under a grow light.

Here they are, and check out our super professional setup:

There on the left is the lone tomato plant that survived the Kitty Massacre of 2011, all of the others are still pretty young. Hopefully they will be ready to go outside at the end of this month.

If you see the spot in the back, that was a shed we tore down to expand our garden. The plot up front is last year's garden, which will we use as well. The new garden will go from the back of the fence, up to the tree.

A local guy we know has a huge tiller and will come do the yard for about $20, which is much cheaper than renting or buying a tiller. He's coming today, and I'm super excited! Then we can finally get some things in the ground. Hopefully in the next few weeks we'll be dining on fresh from the garden lettuce, spinach, kale and radishes!

This post is linked to Frugal Gardening 101 at The Finer Things in Life

Stepping Into The Coupon World

2011-05-04T12:12:00.005-05:00

For years I've marveled at the coupon divas who could get such great stuff for so little. I've considered trying coupons, but it always seemed so confusing and overwhelming. Plus, we're trying to get away from processed foods. This is what I've told myself every time I considered diving in. This past Sunday, we were getting gas and I ran in to pay. The Sunday papers were staring at me, and I impulsively bought one. We've got a 3 month totally unpaid maternity leave coming up, so stocking up on some essentials seemed like a good idea. Here's what I've found so far:

Target:

Pantene Mousse & Hair Gel- $3.50/each
$3/Two Coupon From Sunday Paper
= 2/$4
Gillette Mach 3 Razors- on sale for $6.74
B1G1 Coupon From Paper
=$6.74/2

Kroger:

Ivory Body Wash- On Sale $10/10
$1/1 Manufacturer Coupon
=Free! I was pretty excited about this one.

CVS:

I finally signed up for an Extra Care Bucks card, and found a promotion that would give me a bunch of ECB's to start off with.

Maalox & Benefiber- Buy $20 in Maalox, Prevacid, Benefiber and get 10 ECB
Dawn- On Sale for .99
.25 Manufacturer Coupon
= .74
Dawn Plus- On Sale .99
.50 Manufacturer Coupon
=.49

So I wound up with 2 super cheap Dawn dish soaps, and $10 in ECB to use on my next purchase. My goal is to buy things that earn ECB's WITH my ECB's and hopefully get them for free or nearly so.

Walmart:

Glade Spring Collection Candle- On Sale $2.50
Up to 3.99 Free Manufacturer Coupon
= FREE! Love that.
Air Wick Air Freshener- On Sale .97
B1G1 Manufacturer Coupon x2
= .48/each
Gillette Mach 3 Razors On Sale $6.50
B1G1 Manufacturer Coupon
=6.50/2 ( My husband flies through razors so this was a GREAT deal)

Cub Foods:

Equaline Bandages- .69 with in-store coupon

Duncan Hines Brownie Mix- On Sale w/in-store coupon .77
.50/1 Manufacturer Coupon
=.27

Crest ProClinical Toothpaste- On Sale $3.06
$2/1 Manufacturer Coupon
= $1.06

Kashi Cereal- On Sale 2/$4
$1/1 Manufacturer Coupon x2
=$1 ea

LOVE this one. Kashi is some of my favorite cereal but is always pricey.

Not Pictured:
Ocean Spray Juice- On Sale 2/$4
Buy 2 and get 4pk Ocean Spray Sparkling Juice FREE

I did this deal, but they were out of the sparking juice, so the hubby is going back today to get that. However, as I was searching for them, I found coupons for $1/1 and they are also on sale for 2/$4. So we will get our free 4 pack, plus another for $1. THEN I noticed as I checked out that a store coupon printed for $1 off my next shopping trip. So we'll get two four packs for free! Pretty sweet.

This week has been pretty fun, I think I may be hooked! Last night I finally got our printer up and running ( so I can print coupons, of course :) and think I'll keep going with this. One thing I quickly realized is the need for a binder and a system. Fumbling through a pile of coupons at the store is no fun. What do you think? Do you coupon? Or is it just too confusing/too much work?

Menu Plan Monday

2011-05-01T22:23:00.003-05:00

While I didn't stick to any specific plan last week, I did cook at home, so that's a definite win. But this week I'm going to get back on the organization bandwagon!

Monday- Lasagna, Broccoli, Garlic bread ( I'll be at work so hubby will heat up)
Tuesday- Crockpot Chicken Tacos
Wednesday- Chicken Rice Casserole, Broccoli
Thursday- Pecan Crusted Catfish, Rice pilaf,Salad
Friday-Pizza
Saturday-Steaks on the grill, Baked Potato, Salad
Sunday- Mothers Day dinner with family

One night this week I'll also be making a super easy recipe for fruit cobbler that I found in one of the cookbooks I received as a wedding gift. It took virtually no time to prep and was really yummy! Even my chocoholic husband enjoyed it ( with a scoop of ice cream on top, of course)

Our blender is on the verge of dying, so I'm on the hunt for a new, high-quality replacement. Apparently all of our green smoothie-making puts a blender through quite the torture test. Any suggestions? We want to keep going with these because both of us have seen noticeable benefits in our energy levels and overall health!

This post is linked to Menu Plan Monday at I'm An Organizing Junkie

Naptime

2011-04-27T21:26:00.004-05:00

Sooooo........apparently keeping up on menu plans and blogging aren't on the agenda for this week. There is SO MUCH to do around here. I'm quite honestly overwhelmed. Every day I make a new list of what we need to do inside the house, outside of the house, and before the baby comes.

1. Paint Evie's new room and nursery
2. Find& purchase big girl bed
3. Find & purchase ( through the classifieds, consignment shops or Craigslist) a crib for my parents, a glider for me, and a swing for the baby
4. Pull weeds & plant new flowers
5. Plant garden ( if it ever.dries.up.)
6. Organize the garage
7. Find curtains and blinds for 4 different rooms ( yes, its kind of like living in a fish bowl. apologies to the neighbors.)
8. Finally hang the pictures and prints on the walls ( our walls have been totally bare since we moved back in, um, September?)
9. Organize and separate clothing to donate ( working on it)
10. Install ceiling fan in our room, pedestal sink and ceiling tiles in the downstairs bath

..And about 50 other things. Ahh!

Today I was off work, so the munchkin and I grocery shopped and went for my appointment with the midwife. After that, I was beat. Beyond exhausted. I forgot that this happens in the 3rd trimester? So what did I do? Work furiously through her nap and get TONS done?

Nope. I napped too. And it was glorious.

So today, that Works For Me.

Real Food

2011-04-20T09:13:00.004-05:00

Photo Credit

Several years ago, I picked up The Omnivore's Dilemma out of curiosity. Little did I know how shocked and dismayed I would be after learning the real history of food here in America. I implemented a few changes in my diet, filed away the rest of the information, and moved on.

Last year I finally decided to really attempt to change our diets, and little by little, have worked in new changes. It really is a struggle though. Where we live ( central Illinois) is dominated by large chain supermarkets, with a small health food store here and there. While I enjoy visiting them, the prices are totally cost prohibitive to us at this point.

So what can we do, as a family on a budget? The answer, for us has been to pick and choose. We can't go and buy everything 100% organic, but we can purchase differently. It has kind of been a transition to 'whole foods' more than anything. I started purchasing whole wheat flour and baking our own bread. Ideally we'd buy wheat berries and grind our own, but I've yet to find a decent grain mill that isn't outrageously expensive. Ideas, anyone?

We switched from margarine to olive oil and butter. I've heard many people singing the praises of coconut oil, but I'll admit I don't know much about it. No white tortillas, or pretty much white anything. We stopped purchasing white, refined sugar and have instead opted for Turbinado sugar and honey. I try to avoid artificial flavors and colors, but I'm not perfect on that yet. I haven't cut out all white flour, because some recipes really need some to come out correctly, so I've at least switched to unbleached in that department.

Call me naive, but I never realized how bad lunch meats really are, and I love a good turkey sandwich. We found one brand that has no artificial preservatives, nitrates being the main offender. Its a bit more expensive so we don't buy it as often, which is probably a good thing.

Beyond more conscientious shopping, we've simply quit eating out as often and cook at home. Sounds simple, but it helps enormously. When I make the meal, I can choose what goes into it. Most restaurant food is insanely unhealthy. Have you ever looked at the nutrition information from Chilis? I think I cried. My favorite 'salad' had more fat and calories than some of their fried stuff! So depressing. We still have an occasional meal out, but have really come to love cooking at home. Not to mention the savings! Even with buying healthier food, making it yourself is so much cheaper than a restaurant!

Its definitely a slow progression. We still buy supermarket meat, although in quantities not nearly as big as before. This year we'll be purchasing part of a local, grassfed cow, and part of a local hog. The farm from which we get our CSA sells chickens, so I'd like to get a few of those as well. On Craigslist yesterday I found a local guy selling an upright deep freeze and I think we're going to snag it up! That means I can freeze/can/preserve what we grow and actually have space for it. I don't really know what I'm doing, but there are so many great resources online that walk your through, step by step.

What do you think? Have you made any steps ( no matter how small) to move toward a more 'real' foods diet?

Why I...Don't Have Cable

2011-04-15T12:33:00.004-05:00

1. Money.
When we had Comcast, it was running us approx. $100 a month . More than we can afford to pay at this stage in the game. That's over $1,200 a year just to have the box in the house. What debt could I have paid off or what amount could I have saved in all of those years? Yikes.

2. Time.
TV was taking over our lives, even if we didn't really notice it. I could get sucked into TLC or HGTV for hours a day, and my husband would stay up super late just to catch a re-run of some show that really didn't matter.

3. Reading
I'm an avid reader, or so I used to be. But more often than not I'd just flip on the TV and stare at it mindlessly for a few hours. Between working and caring for a baby, laying on the couch and zoning out seemed easier.

4. My Daughter
At 20 months, my toddler still has no idea about kids shows. She doesn't know who Barney is or watch the Backyardigans. She loves to read and will spend the day outside getting muddy, playing with babies, or pretending to cook like Mommy.

5. Being Careful of What We See
I realize that one has full control over what is viewed, and can turn it off at any time. I'm one of those people who loves crime shows, and Criminal Minds is my absolute favorite. I can watch episode after episode. But one thing my husband pointed out is that I wind up being fearful afterward. I become more paranoid about locking doors and windows ( not necessarily a bad thing), and worried about a boogeyman around every corner ( bad thing). What is the saying? What you put in, you get out? Deliberately putting things in my head that lead to a spirit of fear can't be positive or edifying. At least in my scaredy-cat case :) Not that I won't ever watch Criminal Minds again, I've just benefited from not having it available 24/7.

Lest you think I'm being legalistic, know that I understand the day will come that Evie WILL want to watch movies and shows for kids, and that's okay. I just love the idea that she is learning how to play and learn and imagine without needing TV. And sometimes, not having cable has its downsides. Last weekend we went to a drive-in with some friends and their son. We saw Hop. Well, I use the term ' we' loosely. *I* spent the movie chasing a toddler around, and around, and around. Occasionally she would glance at the screen and say ' bunny' or ' chickie', but that's it. She wasn't having it. Her attention span for watching even a kids movie isn't there.

We've saved a lot of money by not having a cable bill to pay, and if I really MUST watch the new episode of Law & Order, I can use the digital box and pick up a local channel. But one of the neatest things I've noticed is how our family time has changed. My husband, instead of sitting in the recliner and falling asleep, now works on projects around the house. I'm back into reading. We go on more walks as a family. I cook more and spend time researching recipes. We spent 3 hours the other night plotting out our garden, never switching the TV on.

I love technology and don't think TV is bad, but this has been a really good choice for our family.

** Side note, I am truly thankful you can find most TV episodes online, because occasionally there is a show I'm just dying to check out. Extreme Couponing? Yesss.**

Check out Vanderbilt Wife for more stories of those participating in this really fascinating series!

T-I-R-E-D

2011-04-13T16:05:00.002-05:00

Whew. Apparently I've forgotten how wiped out pregnancy can make you! I've been working a ton, and working weird hours. I had a day off today, and after a midwife appointment, grocery trip and a few other errands..I'm exhausted! So much for Menu Plan Monday, but here's Menu Plan Wednesday?

Wednesday: tortilla-crusted cod fish tacos, homemade pico de gallo, spanish rice, salad

Thursday: grilled chipotle pork chops, roasted red potatoes, broccoli

Friday: homemade pizza, salad

Saturday: lasagna, garlic bread, salad

Sunday: TBA- probably dinner with family

On a side note, do any of you shop at club stores? Do you find them to be a good value or a waste of money? My mom has a Sam's Club membership, and I went with her today. I found some excellent deals on bulk walnuts, almonds, oats, yeast, frozen fruit, cheese, etc. But the whole experience left me a bit overwhelmed. I could tell many of the items weren't really a ' good deal', they were just uber big sizes. I so wish we had a Costco around here, but Sam's is it :(

Faith Like a Child

2011-04-06T11:41:00.002-05:00

Last night, I overheard my husband reading our 19 month old daughter her bedtime story. As the book finished up and he closed it, she responded with an enthusiastic ' Amen!.' I definitely felt my heart melting.

But it really got me thinking about the search we've been on for the last few years. We haven't really had what I'd call a church 'home' since we've been married. Part of this has been because we've both had major problems with what I'd call 'traditional' church and its structure. We're more fans of a simple church model, with less emphasis on the regular church trappings. Things like 5-6 pastors, youth groups, a big building, lots of employees, nurseries where your child has to have a computerized name tag to keep track of him/her, even the landscaping companies hired to care for the church grounds. Not that these things are wrong per se, but we've more affinity with a smaller, closely knit, New-Testament style gathering. Ultimately where we probably belong is a house church, but neither of us feel we're ready or qualified to start something like that right now.

That being said, we live in the heart of Illinois, in a white collar town literally brimming with large churches and their equally large budgets. We spent a few years at one church, but it didn't feel right, so we kept looking. And looking. Finally, a few months ago I stumbled upon a small gathering of families, and it seemed promising. We've been attending and slowly getting to know people. There is no nursery or kids church, so that has been an interesting challenge. Toddlers generally don't like to sit still for an hour or more, but we're making progress. A lot of the families home school, and we haven't for sure decided what to do with school for our kids. But the people are very loving, and the teaching and emphasis on raising Godly families is spot on. When the women there learned we were expecting our 2nd ( while having virtually just met us), they were thrilled and already talking about a baby shower! Crazy. There are virtually no 'programs', but occasional men or women's breakfasts, a couples Bible study, etc. Something I love- the pastor has a full time job outside of the church. He is paid no salary. They have no building. Tithes and offerings can be spent however they choose in the community, which I think is fantastic.

I'm cautiously hopeful that maybe we've found our home for now. Tomorrow night we are having dinner with the pastor and his family, to get to know one another better and talk over some issues. Community is so essential in the life of a believer, and we've been sorely lacking it for several years. Much of the time I feel as though I'm fumbling around in the dark when it comes to being a wife and mother, so the prospect being able to look to older, more experienced women is super exciting. So if you're the praying kind, maybe say a little pray that our dinner goes well and we'd be willing to go ahead and dive in?

Menu Plan Monday

2011-04-04T15:46:00.003-05:00

Last week's menu plan went pretty well, and we mostly stuck to it. It really is nice to have a little bit of organization . Its especially nice to know ahead of time what I can use up, so I'm not running to the store for a last minute item. Although I did run to the store because I forgot skewers for the kebabs..oops. But I'm improving! I did big grocery shopping last Thursday so we're set for a while, and have some leftovers. The main thing I'm doing is trying to incorporate more leafy greens ( a goal we're constantly working on), as well as adding more beans to our diet. My husband is quite the carnivore, but he's expressed interest in eating more fish and even going meatless on some meals. I figure it will cut down on the amount of fat we eat, and will help the grocery budget. A win-win.

Monday:

Black bean/corn quesadillas on whole wheat tortillas, grilled veggies ( we had some left over from this weekend), Mexican rice

Tuesday:

Tilapia with Honey-Tangerine Sauce ( From Jessie @ Vanderbilt Wife), wild rice, spinach salad

Wednesday:

Crock Pot Chicken & Potatoes, Salad ( I will be working 3-11:30pm, so I'll make up ahead for hubby & daughter)
Thursday:

Dinner with the pastor & his wife of the new church we've been attending. His wife insisted I not bring anything- sweet!

Friday:

White Bean, Tomato and Spinach Pasta ( from Candi @ Family, Stamping & FOOD! ), toasted homemade ( via bread machine) garlic bread
Saturday:

Homemade pizza- turkey sausage, whatever veggies we have leftover from previous meals, cheese, olives. Yum!

Sunday:

Marinated grilled pork tenderloin, green rice bake, spinach salad, crusty bread

I will post the recipe for the green rice bake sometime soon. My mom has made it for years, and it has always been a favorite of mine. I've been experimenting with my newly purchased bread machine and I hope to have some pictures up soon of my endeavors. For whatever reason, I've been completely slacking with photos since last Fall. I blamed all day sickness at first, but now I'm just being lazy.

Have a great week!

Bread Machine Success

2011-04-02T18:35:00.003-05:00

This winter I decided that I really wanted to try making my own bread. Not having a clue what to do, I started with pizza dough. Then I moved to dinner rolls, and those were a relative success. But what I really wanted was a bread machine to make some 'real' bread. You know, the kind you slice and use to make sandwiches. I wasn't about to spend the $$$ on a brand new machine, and decided I'd wait until garage sale season rolled around. I went to my first sale yesterday morning, and what was the first thing I saw? A really nice bread machine, and for 5 bucks! I snagged it up and today tried some Cinnamon bread. It was good, but I wanted a white/wheat blend for slicing. So I next tried this recipe, and it was awesome! Light and fluffy and really yummy. Here's the recipe for anyone who might be interested:

Best Bread Machine Bread

Ingredients

1 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 (.25 ounce) package bread machine yeast
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3 cups bread flour
1 teaspoon salt

Directions

Place the water, sugar and yeast in the pan of the bread machine. Let the yeast dissolve and foam for 10 minutes. Add the oil, flour and salt to the yeast. Select Basic or White Bread setting, and press Start.

I swapped one cup of whole wheat flour for one of bread flour. Next time I might up it to 2 and see if we still like it. It really was that simple, and I *really* had no idea what I was doing!

Marinade For Veggies/Chicken

2011-03-28T11:35:00.002-05:00

As soon as there is a *hint* of warmth in the air, we bring out the grill. With high's only in the 40's all this week, it certainly doesn't feel like Spring, but that won't stop us. We grill lots of things, but my personal favorite is veggies. In fact, when we started eating healthier, grilling was the only way I could get my husband to eat lots of vegetables! Most of the time I just chop and toss with a little olive oil, pepper and maybe garlic, but lately I've been trying marinades. This is what I'm using for our Chicken and Veggie Kebabs later this week.

2 TBS Red Wine Vinegar
2 TBS Lemon Juice
3 TBS Olive Oil
1 TBS Fresh Basil, chopped ( or dried)
1 TBS Fresh Parsley, chopped ( or dried)
1 TBS Dijon Mustard
2 Cloves Garlic, minced
Salt & Pepper, to taste

Veggies
2 cups zucchini, sliced
2 cups mushrooms, halved
2 cups sweet onion, quartered and pulled into chunks 2-3 layers thick
Chicken breast or Tenders, cut into roughly 1 inch chunks

** Lots of other veggies can be used. We like potatoes, tomatoes, asparagus, red/yellow/orange/green peppers, etc *

Directions- Mix together marinade ingredients, and pour over veggies arranged in a shallow pan. Refrigerate 2-4 hours ( or longer! Sometimes I leave it overnight)

Arrange veggies/chicken on skewers, and grill for approx. 15-20 minutes depending on how hot your grill is.

Menu Plan Monday

2011-03-28T11:16:00.005-05:00

This week, I'm actually going to be home more than I'm at work, so I'm going to attempt a 'real' menu plan. Sadly,when I work a lot of nights, like I have been lately, it ends up being a free for all. Earlier in the week I'm going to be trying to use up what we have in the freezer/pantry, and go grocery shopping on Thursday or Friday.

Breakfasts: Green Smoothies, Scrambled Eggs, Baked Oatmeal, Fruit, Yogurt
Lunch: Grilled Cheese on wheat, Vegetable Soup, Turkey Sandwiches, Veggie sticks

Dinner:
Monday: Crock Pot Beef roast, Steamed Broccoli, One Hour Dinner Rolls
Tuesday: Lasagna, Spinach salad, leftover rolls
Wednesday: Chicken Stir Fry, Brown Rice
Thursday: White Bean Chicken Chili, rolls
Friday: Pork Tenderloin on grill, Grilled Veggies, Roasted Red Potatoes
Saturday-Chicken/Veggie Kebabs on grill, Rice Pilaf, Spinach Salad
Sunday- Dinner with family

I should've Been Born Italian

2011-03-15T18:12:00.004-05:00

At least most of the time I think so. I swoon over olives and pesto, and live for a good pasta dish. When we were in St.Louis this weekend we visited 'The Hill', which is their Italian neighborhood. It is lovely, with lots of small family restaurants and businesses. Even their fire hydrants are painted green, white and red like the Italian flag.

While we walked around and geared up for lunch, we stopped in at this Italian grocery store. It was amazing! Here's what I came out with:

1/2 lb Black Sicilian Olives
1/2 lb Large Green Olives
Balsamic Vinegar
Artichoke hearts
Bay Leaves
Cinnamon sticks
1 lb fresh mozzarella
2 bottles of wine ( 2 for $7! )
3 quarts Extra Virgin Olive Oil ( $15.99, insane! A small bottle around here is $10)

I could have brought home much more but I stopped myself. After lunch at Adriana's- a small place with killer sandwiches, we were stuffed and ready to head home. Oh how I wish we had ethnic grocery stores at home; they beat Walmart any day.

Spring, Gardens, and CSA's

2011-03-08T10:41:00.005-06:00

Pictured Above: Lettuce, broccoli, tomatoes, radishes

This little guy is a brandywine tomato

After last summer's ' just throw something in the ground and hope it grows' attempt at gardening, this year we are trying to plan ahead and plant according to *ahem* schedule. In our defense, we didn't close on our house until the end of May, so we were running against the clock. Even so, we had an overabundance of green beans, tomatoes, zucchini and herbs.

This year, we're starting lots of seeds indoors and planting the cooler weather seeds early. The 'early' crops include lettuce, spinach, beets, carrots, turnips, radishes, peas, kale, etc. We're also tearing down a dilapidated shed in the back yard to make room for a bigger garden that is more out of the way of foot traffic.

Here's a little run down of what we're growing:

Tomatoes- 6 varieties: brandywine, heirloom mix, cherry, tinkerbell, beefy boy,ildi
Lettuce- 3 varieties
Spinach- curly and baby
Kale
Green Onions
Turnips
Radishes
Beets
Carrots
Peas - sugar snap and snow peas
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Zucchini- green and yellow
Bush beans- purple, yellow and green
Peppers- rainbow sweet, jalapeno, sweet pickle peppers
Cucumbers- slicing and pickling
Eggplant
Winter squash mix
Herbs- basil, oregano, cilantro,summer savory, lavender,chives
Red potatoes
Sweet potatoes
Strawberries
Blackberries

...I'm not really sure if this is everything, but its what I can think of off the top of my head. Crazy? Maybe. But why not? We have the yard space and its a fun, cheap hobby that gets our whole family outside. I received a canner when we got married, and haven't used it yet. Hopefully this summer that will change. We need to buy a deep freeze as well. I'm hoping we can freeze/can a decent amount of produce.

We also signed up for a CSA share! I'm so excited Dearing Country Farms is a local farm not too far from our house. They have lots of produce, chickens, eggs and sell beef as well. Each week for 22 weeks we will pick up a basket of whatever produce is ready. That way, I figure even if our garden flops, we'll still have some fresh local produce :)

Can you tell I'm ready for spring?

It's here!

2011-03-03T13:20:00.003-06:00

Back in December, I participated in the Today Show's Jill's Steals And Deals. For those who don't know, every once in a while during the morning show Jill has 5-6 products that the company has offered at a huge discount. You go to their website and order with a Today Show code, and you get that item, usually 50-75% ( or more) off.

I never call in to things like this, but I saw a Christine Price bag that I thought was just beautiful. I don't buy luxury handbags- in fact mine usually come from the clearance rack from Target. This bag was normally $329, a price I never would or could pay. But it was $50! Fifty dollars! For a genuine leather, designer handbag that celebrities walk around with. Holy moly.

Soo...I ordered it, and told the hubby it could be a Christmas present. He agreed, and I waited. And waited. Weeks, months went by, and I finally received an email that the bag was shipped and should be here -no later- than February 18th. Well, that didn't happen but today folks, UPS showed up at my front door with this:

I guess my $9 bag that is coming apart can finally be tossed now. This bag can hold diapers, sippy cups, my wallet and planner, all with room to spare. Now watch me fill it up so it weighs approximately 75 lbs.

Doula!

2011-03-02T10:34:00.003-06:00

Doula? Um...what's that?

This is the reaction I have been getting over the past few weeks as I've told family & friends of our decision to hire a doula for this labor/delivery. As I explain what she will do, they seem to understand...sort of. Nevertheless, I am excited because I think having a labor support person could be a fantastic asset. With my last birth, I was on pit and constant EFM, which made it very difficult to move around.

This time around, my midwife told me that if I did need constant monitoring, I could use a telemetry monitor and have more mobility. I hope I won't, but just in case its nice to know. My blood pressure didn't rise until 29 weeks last time around, so I have no idea if that will happen again. But either way, I think having that person there to support me will help me have the most natural birth I can.

I can't believe I'm halfway there, time is flying. I've got so much to do- we're moving my daughter to a different room and a big girl bed, so I need to get the room decorated. We're also debating whether to attempt potty training before the baby. I've heard opinions both ways. The munchkin is 19 months and I wouldn't try just yet, but I was thinking closer to summer. Any advice?

Healthy+ Frugal?

2011-03-02T10:21:00.004-06:00

In our household, we've been on a question for the past several years to eat healthier. It started with throwing out margarine in favor of olive oil, and has gone from there. We're also on a budget, so going completely organic isn't an option at this point. However, I've just placed my order with Park seed company and we're planning on tripling our garden from last summer. So hopefully by August I'll be up to my eyeballs in canning and freezing!

As my pregnancy has progressed, I've gotten past the all day/all night sickness portion, but I still have some issues. As with my daughter, I simply can't eat much, or it comes back up. I've been cooking a lot lately with spinach and kale, because we need to get more dark leafy greens into our diet. But something about the texture of kale makes it hard for me to keep down. So..here is my solution!

1 handful spinach
1-2 large kale leaves, spine removed
Frozen fruit- strawberries/raspberries/blueberries/tropical blend/ fresh banana/whatever we have on hand
Lowfat vanilla yogurt
Dash orange juice
1 tbsp coconut milk powder
1 tsp flax seed

Smoothies! I never knew I could hide so much good stuff in a tasty drink. Its also much easier for me to keep down.

So its not all ( or even mostly) organic..but I figure it's a start. With our gardening efforts coming up, I'm hoping that will cut down our grocery budget while allowing us to eat produce we know was grown without nasty chemicals.

Menu Planning & Eating From the Pantry

2010-10-04T20:53:00.002-05:00

With our recent home purchase/remodel, and attempting to sell our old place, finances have been so tight they squeak! In the end, we will be in a much better financial position- but for the meantime, things are rough. I've been trying to find ways to save money, and stretch the few allotted dollars we have. For several years I've read blogs that demonstrate meal planning, coupon shopping, and using up things from the pantry. I can blame nothing but laziness for not attempting them before now. Couponing seems too overwhelming for me at the moment, but I thought I could take inventory of our pantry and see what I could come up with! I love cooking so this should be an interesting challenge.

Menu Plan Monday

Monday-
B toast with homemade jam, yogurt, banana, milk
L out to eat with mom and sister ( I didn't pay so it doesn't count! :) )
D mexican scrambled egg burritos, broccoli, iced tea
Tuesday-
B oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar, milk or tea
L turkey sandwiches, carrot sticks, water
D pb & j sandwich @ work, turkey sandwich/chips/carrot sticks for hubby at home
Wednesday-
B scrambled eggs & toast, banana, milk or apple juice
L tomato soup & grilled cheese
D grilled salmon, broccoli, rice
Thursday-
B cold cereal, yogurt, milk or juice
L pb & j sandwich taken to work, carrot sticks, granola bar
D honey ham, garlic potatoes, frozen mixed veggie blend
Friday-
B oatmeal, raisins, brown sugar, milk or tea or juice
L chicken noodle soup, canned peaches
D ham/cheese/potato crockpot dinner, frozen mixed veggie blend
Saturday-
B cold cereal for hubby, yogurt & toast + banana (taken to work for me), at home for baby
L turkey sandwich taken to work and carrots, leftovers for hubby & baby
D homemade pizza, salad, homemade garlic bread
Sunday-
B lemon poppyseed muffins, bananas, milk/coffee/juice/tea
L sandwich + carrots for me @ work, leftovers for hubby & baby
D dinner @ my parents house

Whew! While that was certainly not the most creative menu I've ever made, it does utilize the things I have in the cupboard and fridge/freezer right now. I can probably spend $10 or less this week buying things to make meals. We were given a ginormous ham from my parents, so I'm sure we will be sick of ham by the end of the week but it will certainly stretch! We'll see how the week goes!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-22T16:51:00.002-05:00

Big Week

2010-09-15T02:36:00.004-05:00

My days are going like this : pack, pack, sand, prime, paint, chase baby, pack pack pack, paint, paint, chase baby, paint, pack, paint some more....repeat x100.

Back in May we purchased a foreclosure and have spent the entire summer remodeling. The.Whole.House. Top to bottom. It has been lots and lots of hard work and headaches, but it has come out beautifully. I can't believe were are homeowners and will finally be moving to a small town!

Also- my Power90 arrived today-woohoo! I spent some time this afternoon reading everything over and am super pumped to begin the workouts tomorrow.

Later this week I'll have a post about the remodel, and some before-during-after pictures, as well as how this whole being homeowners thing came to be for us.

Until then!

P90X For Wimps

2010-09-08T18:11:00.007-05:00

I've been a yo-yo dieter all my life- I come by this honestly, many in my family are this same way. I could probably think of at least 10 times my mom lost a bunch of weight with Weight Watchers, only to gain it back before finally losing about 80 lbs 5 years ago and keeping it off. I was chubby during the latter half of Elementary schools, and into Jr. High. I was incredibly depressed and self-conscious and wanted to fit in, so I began a schedule of exercise and starvation. I became very thin, getting down to about 120 lbs ( which on a 5'10 big boned frame is about a size 3). Of course, it was incredibly unhealthy. Oftentimes I'd eat 500-700 calories a day and exercise several hours as well. I binged & purged, and worked out obsessively if I deviated from my diet at all. After several years, I finally came out of this as my health began to suffer.

What happened next was a gradual weight gain, over the course of high school and beginning of college. I hovered around a size 14, then up to a 16, and finally, 18 and got more and more depressed. When I got married two years ago, I refused to have engagement pictures taken because I was too embarrassed to put them in the local papers for fear of what former classmates and family friends would think. My husband has always been supportive of me, through thick and thin ( literally) but to be honest, I'm miserable.

When I became pregnant with my daughter, I lost weight. I knew I couldn't afford to gain so I ate healthily, and a hefty dose of nausea and acid reflux helped keep my eating in check. Even so, I was diagnosed with pregnancy-induced hypertension. I went on medication, and was monitored closely. Thankfully, my daughter and I are both quite healthy, but who knows? If I weighed 50 lbs less, it may have never happened. On the other hand, it might happen again no matter what I weigh..but still. After she was born, I lost a quick 20 lbs but managed to gain it back while sitting at home and being lonely with a newborn.

So, where does this leave me 1 year after her birth? Ready for a new lifestyle, that's for sure! I do not want to slip back into obsessive calorie counting and exercise again, as I know I'm prone to do. So my goal is simply to eat healthily, eat smaller amounts, and get a consistent exercise routine going.

I'm sure y'all have heard of P90X, well...I'm not in good enough shape for that. But the same company has a 'baby P90x' of sorts, called Power90. It is designed for out of shape people, and is 3 months long. I ordered it today and am anxiously awaiting its arrival. I'm hoping a structured, daily workout will help me gain strength and get in the habit of working out & feeling better about myself. In addition, I am logging my food intake at sparkpeople.com, and using some of their goal tracking tools.

I hope to document this transition on the blog..the successes, and plateaus, new recipes and hopefully some inspirational stories. My first goal is 50 lbs, and I'll re-evaluate after that. I also indulged in a tried and true pick me up this week :

And tonight I'm coloring my hair, so that should be interesting as well. Its sad to say, but in many ways I feel like I've given up, because I feel so unattractive. Hopefully I can strengthen not just my body, but my relationship with God as well, because if I look for fulfillment in appearance alone, I will always be lacking.

'I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me'

Phil 4:13

New Season, Big Changes

2010-09-08T17:03:00.004-05:00

As summer draws to a close, and Fall begins to creep in, I've decided to do some reflecting on my priorities. Blogging has fallen behind a long list of other things occupying my time, but not for my lack of desire to write. I've tried many things to start a new post...and found nothing that sparked my interest to blog about.

But in the end, I've realized that writing really is an outlet for me, something that helps break up the monotony of day to day chores and routines. Other blogs inspire me to think critically, examine other ideas/ways of life, and inspire me with ways to enrich my own.

So here I go- I'm going to just start writing until I get back in the hang of it. I don't even know if anyone checks this blog anymore, but I'm hoping to have some interesting & thought-provoking posts here soon! :)

2010-03-02T14:47:00.002-06:00

I repent, I repent of my pursuit of America's dream
I repent, I repent of living like I deserve anything
Of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
In our suburb where we're safe and white
I am wrong and of these things I repent
I repent, I repent of parading my liberty
I repent. I repent of paying for what I get for free
For the way I believe that I am living right
By trading sins for others that are easier to hide
I am wrong and of these things I repent

I repent judging by a law that even I can't keep
Of wearing righteousness like a disguise
Just to see through the planks in my own eyes
I repent, I repent of trading truth for false unity
I repent, I repent of confusing peace and idolatry
Of caring more of what they think than what I know of what we need
Of domesticating you until you look just like me
I am wrong and of these things I repent

Derek Webb's " I Repent"

Shameless photo post

2010-03-02T14:43:00.003-06:00

Every Season

2010-02-14T01:05:00.002-06:00

The last few months have been some of the best-and most challenging- of my life. The joyous arrival of a healthy baby girl, and time spent learning what it is to be a new family- are wonderful things. However, all of these wonderful events have had a dark side for me. Blame it on postpartum hormones, blame it on a discontented spirit; either way, I haven't been happy. Whether it was struggling with nursing, extremely low self esteem, weight loss, or super tight finances..each day has been a battle. First it was TV- if only we had cable and internet back, I'd have something to watch or keep me entertained while I was up all hours with the baby. Then it was my husband's car breaking down (thus turning us into a one car family)- which left me at home with a newborn and no ability to go places, every.single.day. If only we had 2 cars again, I'd be happy. Then it was fantastic weight loss, which turned into weight gain as I started taking Domperidone, a medication to help with milk supply- which also made me pack back on the pounds. If I lost weight I'd be happy. Other days I'd think if only we had a bigger/better house, I'd be happy. If only my husband graduated sooner and got a better paying job quicker, life would be better. I especially thought this after more than one argument about where my maternity leave savings had gone; because it had all but vanished- whoosh! Gone. That's right, more money would make me happy.

Except...

Contentment in where I am now, with what I have now, is the only thing that will be fulfilling. We've never gone without, are taken care of and have endless things to be thankful for. I've got a loving husband, a beautiful daughter, great friends and family, and no material object or social ideal will ever compare.

This is one of my favorite songs- one that reminds me that no matter where I am, or whats going on- I have much to be thankful for. God teaches us lessons in every circumstance, if we are willing to see and to listen. I'm actually pretty ashamed to admit my lack of contentment. Wise people have always told me that faith-like life- is about the journey and not a destination. May I remember this and purpose to see the good in each small thing, and to take joy in where He has me.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28, ESV

Being Still

2010-01-21T17:34:00.002-06:00

To be silent does not mean to be inactive; rather it means to breathe in the will of God, to listen attentively and be ready to obey.

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Meditating On The Word

Taking a deep breath...

2010-01-13T11:38:00.002-06:00

I'm attempting to revamp my blog, and add new fonts, gadgets etc. Only problem is- I do NOT do html code very well. I usually mess things up by one small keystroke and then get really angry, and want to chuck the whole computer out the window.

Anyway.

Please be patient with me- I'm sure things will look a little goofy for a while as I stumble through this. Looking forward to lots of posting soon!!

2010-01-13T10:29:00.005-06:00

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice You
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

-Nichole Nordeman

And Baby Makes Three: The Birth of Evelyn Rose

2009-12-30T14:49:00.008-06:00

As I've previously written, around 28 weeks my blood pressure skyrocketed. As a person who usually has a normal BP, this was alarming. I was put on Procardia three times daily, and began weekly NST's and Biophysical profiles (a detailed sonogram).

There are all kinds of risks associated with PIH- namely, that it will developed into Preeclampsia, organs in mom will shut down and baby will need to be delivered quickly. Thankfully, in my case, it never developed. There were a few times when there was concern that the high bp was restricting blood flow to baby- but it ended up being just that- concern. Basically things just went from week to week, I knew that at any given appointment or at any given time, baby could need to be delivered. NOT the easiest most relaxing way to spend the last part of a pregnancy :) Especially for someone who had such high aspirations for a normal, natural birth. At some point during the last part in my pregnancy, it became apparent that induction was a very real possibility- as was a c-section. This disappointed me, but I knew that the goal was healthy mom, healthy baby.

Added to the stress was the realization that my midwife might not be the one to deliver the baby. She had personal family circumstances arise that kept her out of the office for big chunks of time. Thankfully, both she and my ob wanted to keep me pregnant as long as possible - so it was 5 bazillion office visits for me! I began to know the whole staff on a first name basis. I worked up until about 2 weeks before I had her- this is when the water weight began piling on. I went from a net gain/loss of 0 lbs, to gaining 20 lbs in the matter of a week or two. 10 of those lbs were in 3 days. At this point, the midwife put me on bed rest. I went home with my gigantically swollen ankles ( who am I kidding? my gigantically swollen EVERYTHING) and tried not to do much. I truly feel for women who end up on long term bedrest- it drives you crazy!

On Friday, July 31st I went in for another NST. At this point I was barely dilated at all, baby had not dropped and my due date was still over a week away. I saw the OB who wanted to go through the weekend, and if nothing had happened by Monday, have one more sono/NST and then induce on the following Monday. I was really bummed- it didn't seem like baby wanted to come out, and induction would follow.

After the weekend I went back in- had a sono and the sonographer noticed that my amniotic fluid was low. As we left to go to the NST room, she made a comment that I didn't really notice then- she said ' see you later today, little one'. A normal NST followed, and then the exam. I went in defeated because as of that morning, I knew baby hadn't done anything new. To my surprise and shock, his words after the exam were 'well, you're dilated to 2, baby is engaged, and have you noticed any leaking fluid?' to which I replied ' umm no, nothing really'. Apparently I somehow missed that my water was breaking..but very slowly. He then called over to L&D and got a room set up for me..I called hubby- my mom and sister were in the waiting room so I called them and told them what was happening. The OB had an intern walk me over, which was silly ( I work in the hospital and know it up from down, but I digress)..so we chatted and I tried to get over my nervousness.

You see, I didn't feel crampy. By standing I did see that the baby indeed had dropped- but I really felt the same. I feared a long, pitocin induced labor that didn't progress, resulting in a c-section for lenth of labor ( since my water was breaking I was on the 24 hr clock)..or stress in the baby resulting in an emergency c-section. We knew the cord was wrapped around her neck twice, so any dip in her HR would mean immediate action. In other words, I was a crazy ridiculous ball of nerves.

I got my iv, got settled..was put on the external monitors, and to my surprise, I was contracting regularly on my own! In a short amount of time the contractions intensified and kept coming..I was going into labor without any help! Then the OB and intern came back in, broke what little was left of my water..and I was put on an internal monitor for contractions. This didn't thrill me, as I was then stuck to the bed or just next to it. I had made peace with the pitocin, as long as it was increased very slowly, to just what was working an no excess. Even though my PIH risked me out for a water birth, I still desired the best experience possible. At this point it was about 2 in the afternoon, and I was still fairly comfortable. My husband went home and got my suitcase, my mom and sister ran to get me last minute things I needed.

A friend came to visit, my in laws stopped by. This began the influx of well-meaning family and friends who were part of the day. I began to get uncomfortable, but my BP was doing okay and baby's HR was stable. By 5pm, I had been progressing at about 1 cm/hr and it became increasingly difficult to talk to the people in my room. When I realized pitocin was going to be in the equation, and I found out that Epidurals generally lower blood pressure, I decided I would have one. I figured heck..if I'm stuck to the bed anyway, can't try different positions, and can't have a water birth..and if it can keep my BP lower thus reducing my chances of a c-section, why not? But I wanted to wait as long as possible, to make sure I was progressing since Epidurals can slow down labor.

The nurses were respectful of my wishes, and even supportive- one nurse told me she thought I was doing the right thing instead of getting it as soon as I possibly could ( which according to my OB is as soon as you're in labor..blah...but moving on). By 7pm I was starting to ask where those lovely anesthesiologists might be..and one was located, and could be called whenever I wanted. By this point I was about 7cm and decided it was time. I firmly believe that labor would have been much more manageable had I been free to move about the room. The epidural was put in, and that was one of the most uncomfortable parts of the whole experience. I was contracting like CRAZY and had to sit still while it felt like aliens were crawling up my spine. Once it was in, my right side numbed up but my left did not. The anesthesiologist came back in, adjusted things..and it seemed to get better. After a few hours, more family came and went, and the nurses had a shift change.

The new nurse came in, kicked all of the family out except for the 3 person limit..and I thought I'd ended up with nurse Ratchett. Despite being the only nurse to enforce the visitor limit- she was wonderful. After 7cm I stalled out, and she worked hard to keep rotating me and helping me get in positions where the baby could move. Baby seemed to get stuck but she was so encouraging, telling me I could do it, lets try this or that, etc. I got a little sleep..and by this time the only people waiting were my mom, mil and sister..and hubby of course. One spot never truly numbed and that was an odd feeling- intense pain in one spot but nowhere else. Despite the turning, different positions, etc..I was not progressing. I began to get worried. I fell into a fitful sleep around midnight, just waking for the nurse to check me. I don't remember much here - just pain, and small periods of awareness. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt a new sensation. It felt like tons of pressure all of a sudden. I called the nurse, who checked me and found I was at 10cm!

I started feeling really pushy, and pukey. Not a good combo. My mom came in, with hubby, and my sister and mil waited in the waiting room. ( My sister is autistic and while being super excited, wasn't sure she could handle seeing the baby born) This was about 3am. I'd accepted that probably the OB would deliver the baby, but to my surprise my nurse told me that when my midwife heard I was in labor, said she'd do the delivery even though she wasn't on call. I was so happy with this, but then I wondered..WHERE is she? I knew she lived close by and I needed to push, or puke, or both- RIGHT NOW. The room became a flurry of activity as as scale was brought in, light set up, and things were prepared. I couldn't believe it was time!

Finally, when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, my midwife came running in the room, apologizing profusely. She'd been pulled over for speeding, and while the cop let her go, it slowed her down quite a bit. She gowned up and I pushed once, twice, three times..and on the fourth, we had a baby! I was really out of it and still feeling sick, and hubby was dumbfounded, so my mom finally asked if we had a boy or girl. To all of our surprise, we had a baby girl! As we thought, the cord was indeed wrapped around her neck twice. My husband said the first few moments were scary because she was so purple- but the midwife expertly unwrapped the cord quickly and all was well! She started crying, I was crying, my mom was crying..it was a teary event! She was immediately set on my chest, and after some IV zofran I was feeling great much less pukey. She was born at 3:16 AM, at 7 lbs 14 oz, and 19 1/2 inches long.

After some stitches ( I almost didn't tear, but her darn shoulders changed that!) and some initial nursing, we were left alone to soak in being a new family. My sister and MIL got to meet Evelyn, and soon Evie and hubby were passed out. Around 5am we were moved to our new room- amidst a gigantic thunderstorm..and I was too excited to fall asleep. My blood pressure was still high for a while, but otherwise I felt fantastic. Looking back on it all now, I'm just so thankful. Her birth, despite the complications, really couldn't have gone better. While I hoped for a natural birth, I know that medical intervention is there for situations where its needed..and in our case, it was. PIH and Preeclampsia can have dire consequences if left unchecked. In addition, my midwife was sweet enough to deliver her despite being not on call and really off work for the week b/c of family circumstances.Also, I'm forever thankful for the experienced, kind, overnight nurse I had who encouraged me the whole way and worked tirelessly to help me avoid a c-section. But here's the BEST part :

What Changes Six Months Can Bring!

2009-12-29T17:59:00.003-06:00

I had every intention of blogging leading up to, and after the birth of our baby..but yeah...didn't happen. Just now am I feeling like my life is settled down enough that I can begin to put my thoughts down again! After a long and crazy 9 months, we had a beautiful little girl (! totally thought we were having a boy) and have been getting adjusted to life with a little one. In the next few days, I plan on putting up some pictures, typing up her birth story, and reading the heck out of all of the blogs I've missed. Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas :)

love it

2009-06-22T11:45:00.002-05:00

8 Days To Go

2009-06-22T10:37:00.003-05:00

...until my favorite festival of the year, that is. Next week we'll be packing up and heading to Cornerstone Music Festival, from Tuesday- Saturday. I'll be reuniting with good friends from across the country and from Canada, sitting in on interesting discussions and seminars, and of course listening to lots of great music.

This event has kind of become how my husband and I recharge and get inspired for the year to come..its rather hard to explain. There are some folks we've become friends with, some from Minnesota, some from Philadelphia and some from Canada..all of them are wonderful, passionate people who are more or less part of the 'simple church' mindset. It's so nice to be able to spend a few days discussing challenges, sharing stories and imagining how to do things differently. Plus, its a great big conglomeration of people, and lots from the fringes of Christian society. Phyllis Tickle will be there doing a seminar and a big rountable discussion, Derek Webb ( along with 300+ other bands/musicians) is playing Wednesday night...be still my heart.

This year however, poses a few more challenges. I'm not officially on bedrest but I might as well be. It's pretty obvious that we will have our baby early, at least a week or two, possibly more if my blood pressure doesn't cooperate. So we've rented a dorm room at a nearby college so I've got a place to go with showers, a/c and a real bed- instead of the usual camping situation. I might end up back in the room much of the time, but I'm hoping to be able to catch the seminars and music I want. I've puffed up like a balloon, and I'm learning the true meaning of cankles ( yuck). But all of that's fine with me as long as this little one is still on the inside and growing. To be honest, I'm terrified at the prospect of an early baby. As of this morning's NST and appointment with my CNM, we're looking at possibly from 2-3 weeks if my bp/labs/etc go crazy, and 4-5 weeks if things stay fairly stable. So in the meantime, we need to finish up the nursery, move our furniture in ( because the new carpet finally came, yay)...and just get ready in general.

I'm going to try to cut down as many hours as I can at work, and stay at home laying low. A Phyllis Tickle book on fixed hour prayer is on its way, as well as a new Frank Viola book about actually practicing 'simple church' , so I've got some good thought provoking/inspirational material.

A few weeks ago, I had my first experience with buying bulk herbs online. I purchased a pound of red raspberry leaf and a pound of spearmint from morethanalive.com, and both have been great. I'd been wanting to try RRL tea but the price was steep at the local health food store. I've been using my infuser and brewing a pot each day, some to drink hot but mostly to drink cold since it's so hot outside. Anyone else drink RRL when they were pregnant? I've got a baby sling on the way as well, one I ordered from Etsy- love that website. http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.69609766.jpg Isn't it cute?Oh yeah, I bought a nursing cover too. Hmm..maybe me being at home a lot with access to a computer/online shopping is a bad thing?

A Little Nervous

2009-06-01T10:14:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I went for my normal check with the midwife, and everything looked fine..except my bp. Normally, it's fine so for it to shoot up was abnormal. They asked me to watch it, and have it taken again before I left work at the hospital that day, and call them with the numbers. Unfortunately, by that afternoon it had only risen even more.

I'm now on Procardia three times a day in hopes of a. keeping the bp down and b. preventing preterm labor that the high bp might cause. I'm also going weekly for a non stress test, bp check and to make sure I'm not spilling protein. So technically at this point I don't have preeclampsia, but it could develop. My midwife and doctor have told me that if I go into labor on my own after 34 weeks, they will not stop it. At 34 weeks the baby could probably just stay at our regional hospital, and not have to go to the nearest NICU, 45 minutes away. Of course I hope I go longer, though...

So now begins the discussions of worst case scenarios; if my bp doesn't stay under control I'll probably be induced, if bed rest doesn't help. I'm not on bed rest at this point but have been told I will be if I don't take it easy ( not so easy when we're moving, painting, packing etc). As of last week's check up, my bp was much better and still no protein. Last week's NST showed I wasn't contracting much and the baby's heart rate was good. If things keep going this way they'll let me go as long as I need to. And as long as I'm not hooked up to pit with an induction, I can still use the labor tub,etc.

But I won't lie, all of this has me scared. It's getting warmer here and I've started to swell, but every day I check my face in the mirror a bazillion times to see if it's gotten puffy- I'm so worried I'll develop preeclampsia. Mainly I just feel really out of control, like things were a-okay up until recently and now it's a big crapshoot. Obviously, the most important thing is the safety of both baby and I, but my recent high risk status has me creeped out. Trying to move and set up a new house while not over-exerting myself is about impossible, and I feel totally unprepared should the baby make an unexpected early arrival.

So much for a routine, complication free pregnancy/delivery...

Input needed

2009-05-11T11:56:00.003-05:00

For those of you who use baby slings..which ones are your favorites? The place we're registering doesn't really carry them, so I'll probably be buying one or two on my own.

So, maya, moby, mei tai, hot slings, etc..which worked for you and which didn't?

Also, if you cloth diaper..where do you buy yours? I don't mind investing some money in them but want to get a good deal. So far I've only really looked at Green Mountain Diapers. I'm a bit clueless as to how much/what sizes to order. The baby will be in disposables some of the time, when he/she goes to grandparents or to my sil's a day or two a week while I work. But at home, we're going to try to stick with cd-ing.

Any input would be greatly appreciated!

Disconnected from civilization..

2009-05-11T11:40:00.004-05:00

...or so it feels. My just-barely-a-year-old laptop decided to die, right after the warranty ran out. A good friend is being kind enough to build us a new computer, but in the meantime..ack! I did okay for the first week and a half but I'm going through major internet/blog withdrawl! I'm sure its probably a good thing, because I've read about 6 books, done research, and hit some killer garage sales for baby gear..but still!

So I've now got officially less than 3 months until baby is supposed to arrive. Part of me is really excited, the other part is scared to death. But in good news, we are selling our place that we live now! Woohoo! The paperwork has been finalized and as of June 1st we will no longer own the little ( 576 sq ft to be exact) beaten down, extremely vintage ( ie 1972) mobile home that we started out in. So, where are we going to move?

Well..that's a story in and of itself. We've been house hunting for a good 6 months now, and have a very nice down payment saved up. However, our credit scores are still recovering from less than prudent financial decisions of our younger days, so we decided to wait another year or so before buying to give our scores some time to go up.

So...we're moving....4 doors down. An older lady with Alzheimers passed away recently, and her daughter was looking to sell her mobile home. We happened to stop by when they had an estate sale, and got to talking with her. The home is a 1992, so compared to our 1972..it was downright luxurious. It has been maintained very well, is larger than where we've been, has two nice size bedrooms, a garden tub, lots of closet space, a huge kitchen, washer and dryer, a huge carport and nice shed with a workbench, electricity,etc. The best part? She asked more than we were willing to spend, but liked us enough to ask what we had..and accepted that! So not only will we get to stay close to hubby's work, my work, school ( for both of us)..but we'll pay absolutely nothing more a month than we do now. The little park we live in is in a great neighborhood, and is comprised of mostly elderly people. So as much as I wanted to be in our own house with our own garden right now..this will be much better in the end. We can save more, our credit scores can improve, and I can work less after the baby comes because our living expenses won't go up at all. When the perfect house comes along, we'll be able to say we want it- and be able to afford it.

I'm just so thankful that all 3 of us will have a nice, safe place that suits our needs, and allows us to be better prepared for the things we want down the road. So now its moving time, again- and I'll finally be able to open up and use our wedding gifts! We need to paint, but otherwise everything is move-in ready. The best part- I can finally start putting together a nursery :)

Been 'blah' about blogging

2009-04-14T19:33:00.002-05:00

I'm not really sure what has taken over me, but for the last few months I just haven't had the desire to blog. I love reading them, but have felt at a loss of what to write about.

A little update on the happenings around my house- we are actually looking for a house. Its been quite the emotional rollercoaster, but I know we will find one that is perfect for us in the end. My husband is looking into getting back into school full-time, which would be wonderful. It is just a matter of finding the right program and the right hours to fit around his work schedule.

On the baby front, things are going quite well, I will be 24 weeks on Friday. For the past 2-ish weeks I've finally felt some movement, which is weird. I won't lie, it feels like I've got an alien inside of me. But...a cute little alien :-) I'm still trying to watch what I eat, because of worries about gestational diabetes. In a few weeks I'll do the glucose screening, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We are getting closer and closer to being debt free!! Its taken a few months of living on a shoestring budget, but I can't believe how much debt we've been able to pay down in such a short amount of time. Now it will be a matter of keeping the wise spending going, as well as using the money we're not spending on paying off debt- to save.

With the baby coming in early August, financial planning has been a big issue for us. I will be taking the full 12 weeks off of work, and will have enough PTO saved up to pay for about 1- 1 1/2 months of it, which is great. But the rest of the time we will be hurting, so we're putting away money in savings to cover things like health insurance, gas, food, etc. I will unfortunately need to go back to work a few days a week in order to pay for our insurance, and to supplement our income. Once Adam finishes his degree, I won't need to do this but in the meantime it is our reality.( so YAY for him going back to school!)

Now I'm starting to make lists of what baby items I want to register for, and what items I think I can find at garage sales this summer. Also I'm signing up for a local breastfeeding class, so hopefully that will be informative. Any of you natural birth advocates have resources ( books etc) you recommend for coping methods? Lamaze, bradley method, etc. Also..what worked for you? August seems to be coming sooner and sooner, and despite my desire to go drug-free, I know that I'll be nervous and need to plan ahead. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I think I've rambled enough...until next time!

A Little Bit of Summer on a Wintry Day

2009-01-25T14:06:00.003-06:00

As I've stated previously, this winter has been particularly freezing (!) and dark and depressing for me. Spring and Summer cannot come soon enough, and I've ordered multiple seed catalogs in the mail so I can sit and drool over all of the lovely things I'll be growing when it warms up. But in the meantime, while it's still in single digits ( on a good day) and dark by 4:30 pm every day, I needed some kind of pick me up. So, with our dinner the other night, I made this recipe that is always refreshing on a hot afternoon. Sure, its not as good as veggies straight from the garden, especially those wonderful late July/ August tomatoes..but it'll do in a pinch.

Simple Italian Tomato-Cucumber Salad

5 Roma Tomatoes
2 Cucumbers
2 Sprigs Fresh Basil
5 Tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1 clove garlic
Sea Salt and Pepper, to taste

Cut tomatoes into wedges. Cut Cucumbers into 1/2 inch pieces ( or smaller if you like). Tear small pieces of fresh basil, and mince garlic clove. Add rest of ingredients, mix well. I think chilling for a few hours results in the best flavor, but can be served immediately as well.

At times I've experimented with what I've had on hand- anything from Italian dressing, to Balsamic vinigarette- but the original recipe so far has tasted the best.

Surprise!

2009-01-16T14:18:00.002-06:00

Well, this came a bit sooner than expected (!) but yes, we are expecting. Hopefully we will have a sweet little boy or girl in early August. As of right now my husband and I are both committed to not finding out if we need to buy pink or blue, but I'm sure the temptation will be tough to resist as time goes on. The last month or so I've been pretty ill, with all day sickness and then a bug we both came down with, on top of that. As I'm nearing the close of the first trimester, I'm starting to feel more human again and have a little more energy. So here goes a wild ride, I'm sure..I'm quit excited, and thankful..and nervous!

Despite being a bit shocked with the news at first...we are both very grateful, because it has come to light that getting pregnant could have been very difficult. During a routine ultrasound last week, it was discovered that both of my ovaries are covered in cysts, and that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS. For a lot of women who have this, ovulation happens rarely and conception is difficult. ( Think Jon & Kate Plus 8- Kate has this disease and that's why they went to fertility treatment) I'm a bit apprehensive to see what this will bring in the future, because PCOS raises one's risk of diabetes, heart disease and other ailments..and also increases chances of gestational diabetes. So, right now I'm trying to eat as heathily as I can, and stay very active. So despite maybe feeling a little unprepared as we've only been married 4 months..I know we're very blessed.

It's Been A While

2009-01-16T14:04:00.002-06:00

Hello, everyone ! I think I've finally decided to re-enter the world of blogging after a much needed hiatus. The Christmas season came and went in a flurry, and now we're locked into the dead of winter. This morning when I woke up, it was -17 degrees. Normally I really like winter, but this year- I'm over it. Spring can't come soon enough.

Both of us have come down with various bugs and I think we're finally on the other side of it. I can't wait to jump back into reading the many lovely blogs out there and hopefully putting some good thoughts down.

A Few of My Favorite Things...

2008-12-16T21:47:00.004-06:00

I awoke this morning to find...

2008-11-30T10:41:00.004-06:00

So I thought this was worthy of a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs, baked cinnamon apples and cinnamon rolls. My husband went outside to shovel, and when I went out to tell him breakfast was ready, I found this...

And this

I love the first snow of the year! After church I'm making some snow angels and a snowman to end all snowmen.

New Books in the Mail!

2008-11-19T22:29:00.002-06:00

Today was a really good mail day...I received " Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler, MPH and " Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed To Put Women and Children First" by Marsden Wagner, M.D., M.S.

Both of these books have been recommended to me and I can't wait to dive in! Thanks to Netflix and their free movies online, I was also able to see ' The Business of Being Born'- which was quite the eye opener.

I wish I could say I was confident in the maternity system here in my area, but since working at the hospital..I cant say so. We have the highest C-Section rate in downstate Illinois- over 30%. We induce most people, also. The funny thing is, a few years ago, I wouldn't have given any of this a second thought. The turning point was when my SIL had our niece. She was induced and knew virtually nothing about anything they were doing to her- she just trusted the doctor. That concerned me a bit, because I'm nosey and want to know everything that's going on.

Little did I know that starting to read about what DOES go on ..would lead me to question so much.

Out of curiosity...what are your opinions of the maternity system in the USA? Doctor care, quality of care, time spent with patient during delivery, etc. Would you ever use a midwife, or a certified Nurse-Midwife? I'm not pregnant, but I want to be informed if/when we have children.

Frugal Diet Soup

2008-11-19T22:19:00.002-06:00

I realize it's a bad time of year to go on a diet, with all of the holiday parties and food coming up, but what the heck. In an attempt to be more healthy overall, I'm overhauling the foods we eat around here. It's a challenge to do this on a budget, but I'm really interested in making some lifestyle changes.

I'm finding that replacing a meal a day with this soup has really helped me cut back on calories without feeling too deprived. Plus it's nice with the cold weather- I'm always in a soup mood.

Here's what I use:

3 stalks of celery, finely chopped
2 large carrots, finely chopped
1/2 onion
1 clove garlic
Sea Salt
Pepper
1 can chicken broth
2 cans diced stewed tomatoes
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 can green beans
1 can corn
1 small can mushrooms
1/4 head of cabbage
1 tbsp olive oil

I saute the carrots ,onion and celery in olive oil, with some sea salt and pepper. When they're tender, I add the chicken broth and other ingredients ( including the juice in the canned ingredients) On low heat, I let it all simmer until bubbling.

The nice thing with this recipe is pretty much any vegetable can be substituted- depending on whatever I have on hand. I make a huge batch and keep it in the fridge, and just re-heat for a quick meal. The calories are very low and paired with a few crackers and a tall glass of ice water,I find it to be quite satisfying. My husband isn't too much of a fan, since there isn't any meat- but I'm toying with a recipe that includes chicken.

I call it 'frugal soup' because the ingredients are inexpensive and most are in my cabinets on any given day. Plus its a good way to use up produce that otherwise might be forgotten in the depths of the fridge and go to waste.

Some Election Day Fun

2008-11-03T23:10:00.005-06:00

I’m so tired of these mortal men
with their hands on their wallets and their hearts full of sin
scared of their enemies, scared of their friends
and always running for re-election
so come to DC if it be thy will
because we’ve never had a savior on Capitol Hill

You can always trust the devil or a politician
to be the devil or a politician
but beyond that friends you’d best beware
‘cause at the Pentagon bar they’re an inseparable pair
and as long as the lobbyists are paying their bills
we’ll never have a savior on Capitol Hill

All of our problems gonna disappear
when we can whisper right in that President’s ear
he could walk right across the reflection pool
in his combat boots and ten thousand dollar suit

You can render unto Caesar everything that’s his
you can trust in his power to come to your defense
it’s the way of the world, the way of the gun
it’s the trading of an evil for a lesser one
so don’t hold your breath or your vote until
you think you’ve finally found a savior up on Capitol Hill

-Derek Webb, A Savior On Capitol Hill

Election Eve

2008-11-03T21:48:00.008-06:00

Here it is, Monday night. Tomorrow the polls will be filled with eager Americans, casting their vote for whichever candidate they feel will do the best in steering this country for the next four years. Heated debates have taken place over things such has healthcare, the economy, and hot-button issues such as abortion. Rallies have been held, millions of dollars donated, family and friends either drawing together or becoming enemies. And in the end, after the polls close...life will go on.

I could be more dramatic;I could proclaim that the entire future of America rests on who will be our next president. But the thing is, I dont believe it does.

I could get into my disdain for a two party system and the problems it perpetuates; how it polarizes the population while not allowing for any tangible change- but I won't. Because in the end, politicians will be politicians. Government will be what it is- a body of imperfect, corruptible and falliable humans.

2 Chronicles 7:14
'if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land'

What if we didn't depend on a political party or governing body to do our work for us? What if we, as Christians, stepped up to the plate?

'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.' James 1:27

Matthew 5:38-42
'You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Matthew 19:21-25
'Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you?To do justice, love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Jesus is the hope of all nations. We, as those who follow the man who went about doing good- are called to likewise. A faith reduced to slogans, bumper stickers and political action committees is futile. Worse, it contains no power. The world knows and loves the old way. Jesus came to show a new way. A life of grace and mercy, of peace and turning the other cheek.

So, tomorrow I'll vote because I do appreciate having the freedom to cast a ballot. But my hope lies elsewhere.

who's your brother, who's your sister
you just walked passed him,i think you missed her
as we're all migrating to the place where our father lives
'cause we married in to a family of immigrants

my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a king & a kingdom

there are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him

my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood it's to a king & a kingdom

but nothing unifies like a common enemy
and we’ve got one, sure as hell
but he may be living in your house
he may be raising up your kids
he may be sleeping with your wife
oh no, he may not look like you think

- derek webb, a king and a kingdom

Let us us eat, breathe and sleep this new way, that it might spread....that our families, our communities and ultimately the entire world might be healed.

Info Requested- Natural Products

2008-11-03T21:40:00.002-06:00

I grew up never giving a hoot about natural vs. processed, organic vs. pesticides. But as I've gotten older and have done more research, I've wanted to attempt to go more ' natural' in the things we eat and use. Luckily my hubby is right on board, at least in the theory. Both of us are rather clueless as to where to start. After reading so many wonderful blogs and seeing how other families are making the transition, I'd like to ask for a little advice.

What is something I should start with? I've debated over cleaning products, but the stores around here do not really carry natural products. Well, maybe a tiny section of very expensive items, none of which I'm familiar with.

What 'natural' personal care items do y'all recommend? Anything from deodorant, to feminine products, etc. My main worry is with toothpaste and shampoo. I've got really thick wavy hair and I love my commercial shampoos and deep conditioners...even if the ingredient label gives me the heebie jeebies. Also, I've heard negatives here and there about fluoride, but I worry that if I use a toothpaste without, we'll get cavities more easily.

So, what works for you? Also, what things DIDN'T work?

A little something

2008-10-19T18:31:00.002-05:00

My hubby and I read this to eachother during our wedding ceremony, and I thought I'd share.

Here I set my face unto you.
Here I speak my heart's true vow.
Here I choose to walk beside you,
loving only you,
my heart speaks true,
for evermore from now.

I will love you in the dawning
and in the bright noon-day,
I will love you in the evening
Every day I live,
my heart I'll give.
I'll love you from my grave.

I have heard God in your laughter,
I have seen Him on your face.
And it's clear now what he's after
for he wrote your name
on my heart in flame;
it's a wound I'll not erase.

We will mount the wings of morning,
We will fly before the wind.
We will dwell within the mystery
of the glories of Jehovah's love,
a circle with no end.

We will pitch our tents towards Zion,
in the shadow of His love.
We will covenant between us,
We will covenant with the earth below
and with heaven up above,
We will covenant with the dust below
and the Spirit up above.

- Thigpen's Wedding, from The Celtic Book of Daily Prayer

September 27th, 2008

2008-10-19T17:53:00.004-05:00

...I married my best friend.

Beautiful day in the low 70's, not a cloud in the sky....but plenty of no see 'ums.
Woohoo, party time!

Little bit softer now.....

Can you tell my mom was happy to be done with the planning and craziness??

One of the 3 different centerpieces that I did with my gorgeous ( and free!!) Dahlias.

A Little About Me

2008-10-19T16:51:00.015-05:00

I'm probably a little tardy in doing this, since I'm rather new to the blog world...but I wanted to introduce myself and recap some recent happenings. I was married 3 weeks ago to my best friend, in a beautiful outdoor ceremony. The wedding was planned in 2 1/2 months; and we endured many questions as to whether I was..er...with child. But no, that was not the case, my sweetheart and I have known each other a long time- and had decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The proposal happened July 5th, 2008 on our way home from Cornerstone Festival where hubby was so overwhelmed with the need to ask that he simply pulled off the road, in tears, and asked me to be his wife!

So, the insanity, I mean fun, began. First came picking a ceremony location- both of us wanted to be outdoors, in God's creation. The only problem is; we live in Central Illinois and the weather is entirely unpredictable. We settled on September 27th because I've always wanted a Fall wedding, and Adam wanted to get married before it got cold. We just happened to stop out one afternoon at a local lake that he grew up around, and stumbled on the perfect spot.

In case of bad weather, we reserved a tent and got on with the rest of the preparations.

Like Making Invitations

And picking out food.

A friend of my dad's grows the most beautiful Dahlias, and offered to let us use as many as we wanted for centerpieces. My mom and a good family friend, who was my florist, went with me to pick out which flowers we wanted to use.

Isn't his farm beautiful? Behind the Dahlias he has an orchard with every kind of fruit tree imaginable, has pigs, cows and raises turkeys too! That's where we get our Thanksgiving turkey each year and it is yummy.

Showers

And a wonderful, but slightly ehm....embarassing bridal luncheon.
Rehearsal

Dinner

Yes, I know I had the cutest flower girl in the whole wide world...Staying up into the night doing never-ending seating arrangements and getting pretty.

....and that pretty much brings you up until the day before...this wasn't intended to be a 5 million picture post, but that's what its become. Next: the Big Day.

So much stuff, so little space

2008-10-19T14:20:00.004-05:00

Church and lunch are over, and the hubby is in Chicago at the Bears game. I have the house all to myself...what to do? Oh right, clean. When we moved here we didn't do exactly a bang up job in the organization department ( think stuff thrown in boxes at random) and our spare bedroom paid the price. I'm ashamed to say, it is piled nearly to the ceiling with boxes and random junk we didn't want to deal with at the time.

So, I decided today I was going to tackle the mountain o'stuff, because I'm tired of having to hide that room from guests. Problem is, I've never been one of those type A personalities who has organization down to a science. The room is quite small, with one sliding door closet and that's about it. No shelves, just one tiny built in with two small drawers. Ideally, I'd like it to be a place where our desk, computer, printer and such can sit..and I'd love a place to store our bazillion books. I dragged everything out of there to start from scratch, and I'll try to post some before and after pictures.

Anyone out there live in a space-challenged home and have ideas on how to maximize the square feet available, and keep it nice?

I've got a whole other post in mind about how we stumbled upon this little home and what lessons God's taught me through it, but first...to the mountain I go.

Two Pink Lines

2008-10-14T00:04:00.002-05:00

...and no, I'm not pregnant.

As my husband and I were discussing ( pre wedding) what our plans for our family would be, many ideas came up. The pill, the patch, the ring, the shot..so many options. I researched, and then we'd talk each idea over. In the end, we went with none of the above.

No, we're not trying to get pregnant.

We settled on a more natural type of family planning..one that involves charting, and taking temperatures and all of that. When friends ( and family!) have asked us what birth control we were going to use, this is the answer they were given. Then came....

Blank stares.
" Wait, so you're trying to have a baby?"

While natural family planning can be used to help figure the best time to get pregnant, it can also be used to figure out which times to not be together in order to avoid pregnancy. Yes, it can fail..but so can the pill, a condom, or any of the other methods. We just decided that for our family we want to avoid hormonal contraception, and be open to what God has for us- whether thats a bunch of kids, just one, or none at all.

Its been very interesting to see the reactions from people, because from what I've seen, according to most it would be THE end of the world if we got pregnant. I realize that in the end, it is our choice- and we just didnt like hormonal bc for many reasons, including health ones.

It's a little scary-I don't know anyone here locally doing the same thing..but we'll figure it out. I had a very planned out, prescribed path for my future- one involving a precise timetable for children. At this point I'm not sure if I feel ready for children, but I know that when/if God chooses us to bless us with a child, it will be a wonderful thing.

So those two pink lines are just an ovulation predictor kit ( because I wanted to test my charting skillz and see if my predicted ovulation time was correct)...and here we go into the NFP wilderness.

Analysis of the 'American Dream'

2008-10-13T23:29:00.002-05:00

Well; it's inevitable. The onslaught of the commercial Christmas season is creeping in..I was picking up a few things and while there were some fall items-the lights, oranments and yard stuff were already encroaching on the Halloween section. Soon it will be talk of Black Friday specials ( because who can resist getting a DVD player for 20 bucks, even if you have to stand in line for 2 hours and clothesline little old ladies in the process, right?) and Christmas shopping countdowns.

Sigh.

I love the holidays, but I can't help but be depressed at the thought of family and friend relationships being reduced to cheap, crappy, commercially produced items that nobody will remember by next year anyway. We have decided to try to by the least amount of presents possible this year- instead make gifts ourselves. They will probably involve some sewing and craft projects, baking and other things.

But as I ponder this...I can't help but think about the fact that the best parts of the holidays always involve community-family or friends, doesn't matter. Community...the thing that America doesn't know a whole lot about.

The American Dream- I was raised to idolize and strive for it. Make money, save money, have a nice house, nice cars, a pretty little family. Many people do have those nice new homes and nice pretty lives- yet are lonely, so lonely. How can that be? We isolate ourselves in climate-controlled comfort, living through TV and video games, cozied up in our private worlds. I work in the medical field, in a hospital, where people are at their worst. People attempting to commit suicide out of lonliness, people who make themselves sick so they can at least be around others. Elderly folks who die alone, every single day. Parents completely overwhelmed by caring for a diabled child, at their wits end because family and friends feel too uncomforable around an 'abnormal' child to offer any help or support. Prosperous, comfortable, successful and yet utterly alone.

Could it be that the American Dream is nothing more than an illusion? Could it be that happiness comes from our relationships with others- through everyday interactions, support through good times and bad...leaning on eachother? Early Christians understood this- they lived and worked together, shared money and resources. Where has that gone? Why is it that the church is just as influenced by consumer culture as the general population? I find it quite interesting that the common model and structure of a modern church looks eerily similar to that of a business.

What if? What if people lived and worked together in intentional communtiy-forgoing 'independence' in favor of inter-dependence? What if we said no thank you to mega churches with plasma tv's and 8 pastors on staff and a budget that could feed and clothe and support hundreds ( if not thousands) of local people in need..but is instead spent on a new addition or new 'program' for the kids, a new associate pastor or a church growth plan?

Mainly what I wonder is how the American Dream morphed into the American Christian Dream. Seems to me....Jesus' plan for a Christian's life looks quite different.

Back in the Blog World

2008-10-08T08:50:00.002-05:00

It's been a crazy few months.

Since I last posted, I became engaged, planned a wedding in just over 2 months, got married, took a brief honeymoon, and am now in the process of adjusting to married life while working and going to school. Whew.

Now that life is starting to settle down a bit, I am hoping to start blogging more and putting my thoughts down. So in the next week or so the blog should start to look a bit different, and I've got some ideas swirling around in my head. Looking forward to lots of reading and discussion!

good stuff

2008-06-17T14:02:00.001-05:00

i repent, i repent of my pursuit of america's dream
i repent, i repent of living like i deserve anything
of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
in our suburbs where we're safe and white
i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent, i repent of parading my liberty
i repent, i repent of paying for what i get for free
and for the way i believe that i am living right
by trading sins for others that are easier to hide
i am wrong of these things i repent

i repent of judging by a law that even i can't keep
of wearing righteousness like a disguise
to see through the planks in my own eyes

i repent, i repent of trading truth for false unity
i repent, i repent of confusing peace and idolatry
by caring more of what they think than what i know of what we need
by domesticating you until you look just like me
i am wrong and of these things i repent

-derek webb

coming at you live from the nation's capitol...

2008-06-13T22:22:00.002-05:00

Today I sit in my dorm at Trinity College, while attending Pentecost 2008, sponsored by Sojourners. The building is old, the air barely works, and its been a hot, exhausting day. Its a little weird being across the country, not knowing a soul.

But its been a wonderful, challenging, overwhelming, stressful, infuriating, depressing, exciting, frustrating yet joyful day. A life changing day. Well, maybe not life changing so much as just pivotal...the culmination of years of transition and change. I'm physically exhausted but my mind is spinning, racing at the speed of light. It's time for a change. Today is the day, this year is the year. I feel like I'm in an era not unlike that of Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr's day. An awakening, an awareness, an urgency to take action. As I stood today amidst Pentecostals, Baptists, Presbyterians, Catholics, Episcopalians, Lutherans and many others..all committed to bringing God's kingdom here on Earth ( as it is in heaven)...I felt like I was home.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all people who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.
- Proverbs 31:8-9

On the one hand we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life's roadside, but that will only be an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.
- MLK, Jr

don't dominate, serve
don't get revenge, reconcile
don't scapegoat, embrace
don't isolate, draw near, heal
- brian mclaren

My first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man.
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood.
It's to a king and a kingdom.
- Derek Webb

It is unacceptable that 30 thousand children die of preventable causes every. single. day. day. after.day. It is unacceptable that we have a society and a church that distances itself so far from poverty that its not even on the radar screen of most. It's unacceptable to throw money at a cause, get some warm fuzzies and pat oneself on the back. This will never cause transformation. It only serves to placate the conscience of the person who doesn't want to actually interact, work with and most importantly, work alongisde, the people in need.

To our most bitter opponents we say: " Throw us in jail and we will still love you. Bomb our houses and threaten our children and we will still love you. Beat us and leave us half dead, and we will still love you. But be ye assured that we will wear you down by our capacity to suffer. One day we shall so appeal to your heart and conscience that we shall win you in that process, and our victory will be a double victory."
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

Peace, patience, compassion. Jesus said He desires mercy, not sacrifice. Love is a verb;one cannot have faith without action, and vice versa. One without the other is always false. Asking God to bless me and my family while ignoring the gross injustices that my brothers and sisters face is a faith that is hypocritical, shallow and irrelevant.

I'm so thankful to be here this weekend, and am well aware the very fact of me making this journey indicates that I have the privilege of choice. So many do not have the privilege to choose what to eat, where to live, what to do. I don't know ultimately what this will look like for me but I know I cannot go back and keep on as I have. I just can't believe what a comfortable, complacent existence I've had thus far in life. Maybe I've always known it but didn't want to admit it to myself for fear of actually having to do something about it. I like my car. I like my stuff. But do I love it more than human life? More than Christ's two commandments- love God, and love others? I want to be in a place where I'm willing to let God take me where He wants me.

Ive so much to learn, so much to figure out...but one thing I know. The time is now. Because, if not now.....when?

New Monasticism- What is it anyway?

2008-03-23T20:19:00.003-05:00

Recently I've felt pulled more and more away from the traditional ' church establishment'- or church hierarchy- as we've known it for the past 500 years or so.I still attend my regular church but a few movements have really echoed many of my own thoughts. One of these is called The New Monasticism. But what is this movement, what is its purpose- and what do they do? I thought I'd share a few of the traits they use to describe themselves.

The following is taken from http://www.newmonasticism.org/

'The Twelve Marks Of New Monasticism'

1. Relocation to the abandoned places of Empire
2. Sharing economic resources with fellow community
members and the needy among us.
3.Hospitality to the stranger.
4.Lament for racial divisions within the church and communities
5.Humble submission to Christ's body, the church.
6.Intentional formation in the way of Christ and the rule of the
the community along the lines of the old novitiate.
7. Nuturing common life among members of intentional community.
8. Support for celibate singles alongside monogamous married
couples and their children.
9.Geographical proximity to community members who share a common
rule of life.
10.Care for the plot of God's earth given to us along with
support for our local economies.
11. Peacemaking in the midst of violence and conflict
resolution within communities along the lines of Matthew 18.
12. Commitment to a disciplined contemplative life.

May God give us grace by the power of the Holy Spirit to discern rules for living that will help us embody these marks in our local contexts as signs of Christ’s kingdom for the sake of God’s world.

Interesting, no?

To be continued..

New Year, New Ideas

2008-03-23T19:58:00.001-05:00

It's been...a while. Life has kept me busy with things outside of the blogosphere, but I am ready come back with gusto. Over the past few months my thinking and my world outlook have been challenged greatly. I look forward to sharing some things I have discovered and also those things I still cannot seem to wrap my brain around.

Happy Easter!

the rebel jesus

2007-12-22T12:15:00.000-06:00

all the streets are filled with laughter and light
and the music of the season
and the merchants windows are all bright
with the faces of children
and the families hurrying to
as the sky darkens and freezes
they'll be gathering around the hearths and tales
giving thanks for all gods graces
and the birth of the rebel jesus

well they call him by the prince of peace
and they call him by the savior
and they pray to him upon the seas
and in every bold endeavor
as they fill his churches with their pride and gold
and their faith in him increases
but they've turned the nature that i worshipped in
from a temple to a robbers den
in the words of the rebel jesus

we guard our world with locks and guns
and we guard our fine posessions
and once a year when christmas comes
we give to our relations
and pershaps we give a little to the poor
if the generosity should seize us
but if any one of us should interfere
in the business of why they are poor
they get the same as the rebel jesus

but please forgive me if i seem
to take the tone of judgement
for i've no wish to come between
this day and your enjoyment
in this life of hardship and earthly toil
we have need for anything that frees us
so i bid you pleasure
and i bid you cheer
from a heathen and a pagan
on the side of the rebel jesus

- jackson browne

christmas in a different light

2007-12-19T17:31:00.000-06:00

I have always loved Christmas. The music, the food, pretty lights and glittery ornaments. I'd rush around buying gifts and wrapping them. I'm one of those people who goes out after the holiday and buys up tons of shiny, sparkly wrapping paper goodness- to use it the next year creating elaborate packages. These fun things along with quality time with family and friends have always made the season something I greatly enjoy. But over the last couple of years, Christmas has lost a bit of its luster.

It's not because I dont still love the aforementioned activities- I do. But my worldview is changing. I'm a born and bred midwesterner, daughter of republican small business owners- who grew up believing that the American dream was the be all end all of human existance. The thinking always was, at least in my mind, that God favored the United States and that our system of capitalism and democracy was the *best* in the world. I firmly believed that poor people were poor because of laziness and did my once, twice or three times yearly volunteering at a homeless shelter, nursing home, whatever- because, after all, that was some kind of effort.

I dont begrudge my parents anything- they're wonderful people. I had a happy,secure childhood and was ( and still am) quite blessed. But as mentioned in the previous post, I'm learning that the kingdom of God looks like no government or societal system here on earth- including America's.

So, back to Christmas. As my eyes are opened more and more to the needs around me, the once a year charity surrounding Christmas makes me ill, quite frankly. I'm torn because in a way, yes, any charity is 'good'- people need help. But at the same time, what in the world is wrong with we Christians that we aren't doing that all year long? Why are we throwing huge expensive pageants in our multimillion dollar sanctuaries furnished with plasma screen tv's and state of the art sound equipment? Why do we buy a cheap gift for an Angel Tree kid and think somehow that's teaching our children a lesson in loving others? Why do we count on government agencies to make up for our laziness and apathy?

If I sound bitter, I promise I'm not. I'm just broken hearted..the way things are right now is just not right. As mentioned in the previous post, there are those who believe ' another world is possible.' For a long time I ascribed to the thinking that the earth is just a cesspool spiraling down into destruction, and the only hope was to accept Jesus and pray to be 'raptured out' of this mess ASAP. I still believe my only hope is Jesus, but I believe His message is not only about self salvation, but about living out God's kingdom here on earth. That His message is about reconciliation, healing, compassion- action on the part of those who love and follow Him.

So I suppose after all of this rambling..the question remains, what can we do to bring God's kingdom about-not just pay lipservice to charity at Christmastime. Maybe there's a much bigger problem out there than the battle waged over ' Merry Christmas' or ' Happy Holidays'. Maybe it should be how we live, how we act-rather than talking about what we supposedly believe.

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

Matthew 25:40

another world- is it possible?

2007-12-19T17:04:00.000-06:00

Shane Claiborne, one of the “new monastics,” offers some fresh images of God’s new order that might help us find a place to begin the journey towards a more authentic, whole-life faith. In his book The Irresistible Revolution, Shane describes an impromptu demonstration on Wall Street, during which he announced to the surprised crowd:

Some of us have worked on Wall Street, and some of us have slept on Wall Street. We are a community of struggle. Some of us are rich people trying to escape our loneliness. Some of us are poor folks trying to escape the cold. Some of us are addicted to drugs and others are addicted to money. We are a broken people who need each other and God, for we have come to recognize the mess that we have created of our world and how deeply we suffer from the mess. Now we are working to give birth to a new society within the shell of the old. Another world is possible. Another world is necessary. Another world is already here.

As we begin to identify the aspirations and values of this “world that is already here,” we will realize how counter they are to the values of empires of every age. Jesus strongly reminds his followers that we will never find the good life of God by seeking life but only by losing our lives in service to God and others.As we begin to identify the aspirations and values of this “world that is already here,” we will realize how counter they are to the values of empires of every age. Jesus strongly reminds his followers that we will never find the good life of God by seeking life but only by losing our lives in service to God and others.
-Tom Sine

one dimensional faith

2007-12-16T11:41:00.000-06:00

"More and more reflective Christian leaders are beginning to realize that for the millions of young adults who dropped out of their churches in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries, the Christian religion appears to be a failed religion. And for a reason not unlike the one expressed by the young healthcare worker from Khayelitsha: it has specialized in dealing with ' spiritual needs' to the exclusion of physical and social needs. It has specialized in people's destination in the afterlife but has failed to address significant social injustices in this life. It has focused on 'me' and ' my soul' and ' my spiritual life' and ' my eternal destiny', but it has failed to address the dominant societal and global realities of their lifetime: systemic injustic, systemic poverty, systemic ecological crisis, systemic dysfunctions of many kinds.

When young adults from churchgoing backgrounds lose confidence in this version of the Christian religion to address the pressing issues of our world, their faith becomes more and more privatized and personalized and therefore diminished. They may or may not continue to practice it, but they will almost certainly become less enthusiastic about sharing it with others.

As a result, those on the outside of the Christian religion find fewer and fewer enthusiastic proponents, and there seems to be less and less reason to accept or even consider it- apart from threats of hell, which lose their effect when those making the threats seem a little defensive, deranged, out of touch, manic, or embarassed of their faith"

- Brian McLaren, Everything Must Change

In the first few chapters, the author is setting up this idea as the basis for the book. I love it, because these are things I've thought for years. Growing up, I noticed a very ' me' centered church setting, it was all about personal spirituality and growth. Don't get me wrong, personal spiritual growth is of utmost importance. Howver, the means of attaining that spiritual growth could be different. I've read that the first reformation was about beliefs- what to believe and why. Luther led the way for this. But a second reformation of sorts, one concerning deeds and actions..is much overdue. It as always struck me as very bland and one dimensional to only be concerned about people's eternal destination, while paying little to no attention to their present concerns. Jesus didn't do things that way.He addressed what was going on in that moment, as well as eternity.

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What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith, but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him' Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

James 2:14-17

baby, its snowing outside

2007-12-16T00:32:00.000-06:00

Well, it seems that mother nature has decided to dump approximately 5-6 inches of snow on us. Thankfully I thought ahead and visited both the book and video stores this afternoon before the real blizzard began. I've got to work tomorrow, and have been out late the last few nights, so I decided tonight was going a time of staying in and getting things done.

I was quite domestic. Not only did I do two loads of laundry, cleaned the living room and bathroom, and did a bunch of dishes. Then I decided to bake. For no apparent reason, when I'm shut in at home, I cook. Tonight I made a cherry pie, a first for me- complete with a double crust with fancy designs in it. Cooking is something I enjoy, but baking isnt really my forte. When you make a nice dinner, there is room for interpretation. Add a little of this, a little of that, and you just might wind up with something really neat. Baking, on the other hand, requires more precision. Maybe its the non conformist in me.

The pie turned out reasonably well, minus a few mishaps attempting to put the foil strips on an extremely hot pie plate- who thought of that anyway? Then I made cranberry sauce, another first for me. While grocery shopping this week I saw cranberries for sale and thought I might find a use for then. Turns out, they're pretty much only good for sauce. Oh well. After the cooking adventures, I settled in to watch some videos and dig into my book splurges. One is by Brian Mclaren, the other by Richard Foster.

I realize that this has been a post full of fluff, but fear not- I will return to my usual soapbox diatribes soon..the books should give me much to think about.

Turkey what?

2007-11-07T21:43:00.000-06:00

Sunday night, after working 2nd shift, I made an emergency run to Walmart ( I hate that I went there but it was the closest place..grr). When I walked in the door I was greeted by a huge Christmas tree, complete with lights blazing and ornaments a-plenty. As I walked further in the store, Christmas decorations, Christmas clothing, Christmas wrapping..Christmas everything- was everywhere.
Maybe I'm one of the last people to notice and/or care- but where did Thanksgiving go? The funny thing is that in years past I remember retailers trying to make a *small* attempt to aknowledge the holiday. Now they dont even pretend to try.
The second the clock strikes midnight on October 31st, the Christmas shopping season is here.

Herein lies the problem- I'm not ready. I'm still enjoying my pumpkins, and the leaves- the leaves that just started turning vibrant colors, I might add.

Bah humbug.

Can I get a change-a-looyah?

2007-10-21T13:57:00.000-05:00

My mom and I had a tradition- on the day after Thanksgiving, otherwise known as Black Friday, we'd take the Amtrack up to Chicago and spend the day shopping. We'd fight the crowds from approximately 10 am until 3 pm, until the sidewalks were so crowded that you couldnt move without running into someone.

Why we did this? I dont know, to be honest. In years past we've gotten smarter and gone sometime later in the season, when people werent insane. Even so, I always have to run out sometime during the day on BF, to see if I can score some deals.

This year- no more. I've made the decision- I'm going to not do a single bit of shopping the day after Thanksgiving. The insanity of this whole thing became crystallized last fall when I (briefly) worked at a retail jewlery counter. There were hoardes of people waiting in line, pushing, complaining, fighting over items throughout the mall. Besides wanting to strangle someone, I was just saddened. Is lining up en masse to get the latest whosiewhatsits-that-nobody-will-care-about-by-next-year, something I want to participate in? No thanks.

More importantly..is 'Christmas' simply reduced to mass produced, material goods? In the good ole' USA, that seems to be the case. I'm not sure I'm ready to go as far as a complete Buy Nothing Christmas, but I want to simplify the holiday season and make the focus on being thankful for the blessings God has given me, and extending love to those around me and in this community at large.

I love Reverend Billy. I wish he'd come to Illinois and do some cash register exorcisms.

( If you dont have a clue what I'm talking about and think I've lost my mind, watch the clip below and check out the Church of Stop Shopping at http://www.revbilly.com/. Hes a satirist who, along with his 'choir', preach against consumerism and commodification- and is the featured actor in the new Morgan Spurlock documentary, What Would Jesus Buy? I saw a pre screening of the film this summer at Cornerstone- its great!He also happens to be hilarious.)

Prepare for the Shopocalypse!

as the holiday season approaches...

2007-10-21T13:52:00.000-05:00

Experiments in Frugality

2007-10-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

Between classes and work, I'm a pretty busy person. Money is stretched thin, and many times my paychecks are spent before I even receive them. But I'm going to be in school for the long haul, and after the wedding Adam and I will still both be students. So I've found this an opportunity to learn creative ways to be cheap..er..frugal.

I had never even been to a garage sale until I moved away for college. They amused me for a time, until Adam introduced me to the *Estate Sale*. An addiction was born. Beautiful items in a big fancy house, from decades of collecting? I was in love. Soon I was buying up china, tablecloths, books, and all kinds of gorgeous things that I had no place for. My tiny little apartment couldn't take anymore!

Many times- since I'm all about the deals- I'll wait until the last hour or so of an estate sale, when items are typically 50% to 75% off. I had a thought- why not try ebay? I knew nothing about collectibles or what they are worth, or what is even considered a collectible. So last March I listed my first batch of items, and through lots of trial and error, have found a fun way to earn some extra income.

It took a while to get the hang of it, and I bought my fair share of items that had flaws because I hadn't examined them well enough. Shipping was also a lesson in the school of hard knocks- I ate profits a time or two. But by summertime I was earning on average, $100-$150 a week- not bad for a hobby. This allowed me to enjoy my 'sailing', and use it in a lucrative way, instead of just filling up my home with things I didn't need.

All in all, I've earned a few thousand dollars since I started the ebay habit. I don't have time to sell full time right now, but every once in a while I'll list some things and make a quick $100.

Oh, and I have managed to add a few extremely cool pieces to my collection along the way. Some things I just couldnt part with.

So if you're looking for an inexpensive way to get a shopping fix, check the paper for garage and estate sales. You never know what treasures you might find.

transition

2007-10-21T04:27:00.000-05:00

The other day I was talking with a good friend and, unfortunately, politics had to rear its ugly head. I guess its inevitable; considering there is a presidential election coming up in the next year. This is my first attempt to get back involved with ridiculousness that is our political system, after my decision to ' opt out' after becoming extremely jaded a few years back.

For those who dont know, I grew up a diehard Republican/Fiscal Conservative- Ann Coulter quoting, Bush poster waving, the whole bit. Liberals were snakes, and Conservatives might have a few bad apples but they were ' better' overall.

Then, I went away to college, and I met this guy named Jesus. I stayed true to my Conservative roots for a while, but soon various inconsistencies began to pop up. Things were suddenly...messy. Jesus was talking about loving our neighbor, turning the other cheek, loving and serving the poor. Sure, I was prolife, but the idea that 'pro life' applies only to abortion and not the death penalty, not the mentally/physically/developmentally handicapped..didn't seem to jive with a consistent ethic of life. And environmentalism- only tree hugging liberals care about matters such as pollution, global warming ( because its just a myth, right?).
I came to realize these things, I became extremely frustrated. To be a good Christian, you just -had- to vote Republican, because Democrats were anti-God, anti-life. Yet I could plainly see Conservatives who didn't give a hoot about people, and caring for those in need of help- they wanted votes. So say you're pro life, vote for a few pro life things, and bada bing bada boom- you've got the Christian vote.

Even more apparent was how full of crap BOTH sides were. Its about climbing the ladder, about saying what you need to say in order to get votes.I realized this, and just gave up. (Hence my opting out). I just hid my head in the sand and pretended none of it was going on.
Then I found this book called God isnt a Republican or a Democrat- Why The Right Gets it Wrong and the Left Doesnt Get it- by Jim Wallis. Ooh- so there are a few people who notice this too. I then found Sojourners magazine, discovered Gregory Boyd, Shane Claiborne and various other Christians who were addressing these social issues often ignored by Christians. I began to have some hope.

Fast forward to today- I'm still frustrated, and I still dont trust any of the political candidates farther than I can throw them. But I'm starting to navigate the mess of issues, and starting to form where I stand. I'm okay with not voting straight ticket, and I dont fully endorse either party. I'm an independent- and I'm going to vote my conscience, where it ends up being red or blue- or a mix, and ends up being purple.

I've learned that its okay to take the red letters in the Bible seriously..that Jesus wasnt just joking when He mentioned money and the poor over and over. It doesnt make me a communist to care about the poor, nor a wimpy liberal to care about the environment. It IS pro life to care just as much about existing children and their welfare, as I care about the welfare of the unborn. It's okay to be a Christian and be disgusted by how our money-loving culture has turned people into a commodity, that we put profit over human lives and welfare.

So here I am, a born-again, evangelical, missional, progressive, conservative/liberal, anti death penalty, green, pro life, pro religious freedom, pro separation of church and state, homosexual loving, semi pacifist ( still working that one out), unfinished, still growing , neither-red-or-blue-probably-more-purple-than anything- Christian.

good stuff

2007-10-21T04:21:00.000-05:00

Matthew 9:9-13
As Jesus was walking on from there he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office, and he said to him' follow me.' And he got up and followed him. Now while he was at table in the house it happened that a number of tax collectors and sinners came to sit at the table with Jesus and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples,' why does your master eat with tax collectors and sinners?' When he heard this he replied ' it is not the healthy who need the doctor, but the sick. go and learn the meaning of the words

mercy is what pleases me, not sacrifice

..and indeed I came to call not the upright, but sinners.'

Here is revelation bright as the evening star: Jesus comes for sinners, for thos as outcast as tax collectors and for those caught up in squalid choices and failed dreams. He comes for corporate executives, street people, superstars, farmers, hookers, addicts, IRS agents, AIDS victims, and even used-car salesmen. Jesus not only talks with these people but dines with them-fully aware that His table fellowship with sinners will raise the eyebrows of the religious bureaucrats who hold up the robes and insignia of their authority to justify their condemnation of the truth and their rejection of the gospel of grace.
This passage should be read, reread, and memorized. Every Christian generation tries to dim the blinding brightness of its meaning because the gospel seems too good to be true. We thinks salvation belongs to the proper and pious, to those who stand at a safe distance from the back alleys of existence, clucking their judgements at those who have been soiled by life.
In effect, Jesus says the kingdom of His Father is not a subdivision for the self-righteous nor for those who feel they posess the state secret of salvation. The kingdom is not an exclusive, well-trimmed suburb with snobbish rules about who can live there. No, it is for a larger,homlier, less self-conscious caste of people who understand they are sinners because they have experienced the yaw and pinch of moral struggle.

-Brennan Manning - The Ragamuffin Gospel

wedding progress

2007-10-21T03:19:00.000-05:00

At long last, we were able to find a place to have the reception. Who knew it would be so difficult? Everything was booked at least a year, up to a year and a half in advance. Oy.

Anyway, without further ado:

The Gateway Building

( if the weather is right, and hasnt frozen, we'll get that fountain out front- the city runs it)

The room is on the top floor and has a balcony that overlooks the fountain below, as well as the river, and the bridge right next to it.

The date is October 25th, 2008. I also have my dress :

So far, we have the church, reception, dress, photographer and food lined up. Next I need to decide what the colors will be. Problem is, I've got a whole bunch of colors I love, but need to narrow down. I love sapphire blue, dark green, dark purple, silver, cranberry,etc etc. One thing I know I want is to go with jewel tones over a more 'traditional' palette of fall colors. The church we're getting married at is actually my mom's home church, and where she and my dad were married.( aww, I know) This church is big, made of gorgeous stone, and is littered with stained glass windows and beautiful woodwork that my grandpa did himself. For their Christmas eve candle light service, they have these big candelabras that attach to each pew, and we're going t use those. My goal is basically a warm, glowing fall ceremony that feels really cozy.

Lately I've seen some neat dark colored hydrangeas, and some green orchids that are something different. This is fun, but there are so many things to think about! Yikes.

I'm curious, what did you choose for your wedding colors and flowers? Or, what will you choose?

Er, that book review....

2007-10-21T02:22:00.000-05:00

I read the book, but sorta forgot I was going to write a reivew.
How about a summary?
The book was great; funny and insigntful. The author does a good job of following the ' food trail' so to speak, of corn and beef. Don't read this if you dont want to know where food REALLY comes from. Now, dont go thinking this is some kind of blood and guts diatribe, because it's not. Pollan just does an extremely thorough job of following the history of food, the details of how/where its grown or raised, how its transported, processed, and ultimately, ends up on the dinner table.

I am a child of the corn. No, I'm not kidding- I grew up in the middle of a cornfield. But despite my many years of exposure to farming, this book gave me a whole new perspective on that lovely yellow maize. I guess as a corn fed midwesterner, I never really considered the history of commercial farming, and how it evolved into market it is today.

Pollan examines the inner workings of commercial farming, organic farming, grass pasture farming, and throws in a chapter of hunting and gathering.

I wont lie, in the end I wanted to go run out and buy 50 acres somewhere and start my own farm, complete with chickens, cows, goats- maybe even an alpaca or two.

Then, back to reality. The book really does support eating locally, supporting farmers markets and and family farms. All good things. At the very least, it caused me to think even more about moving toward foods that are less processed, and with fewer chemicals. And I'll never look at high fructose corn syrup the same way again.

Inagural Post

2007-08-21T22:47:00.000-05:00

Well, its a new day, and a new blog. I still love my Xanga, and will update it, but thought it was time to experiment.

I ventured into Barnes & Noble, and as usual could not leave without a few purchases. For my first post I think I'll do a review of one of said books.

The Omnivore's Dilemma- A Natural History of Four Foods
- Michael Pollan

To be continued...