Wednesday, September 8, 2010

P90X For Wimps

I've been a yo-yo dieter all my life- I come by this honestly, many in my family are this same way. I could probably think of at least 10 times my mom lost a bunch of weight with Weight Watchers, only to gain it back before finally losing about 80 lbs 5 years ago and keeping it off. I was chubby during the latter half of Elementary schools, and into Jr. High. I was incredibly depressed and self-conscious and wanted to fit in, so I began a schedule of exercise and starvation. I became very thin, getting down to about 120 lbs ( which on a 5'10 big boned frame is about a size 3). Of course, it was incredibly unhealthy. Oftentimes I'd eat 500-700 calories a day and exercise several hours as well. I binged & purged, and worked out obsessively if I deviated from my diet at all. After several years, I finally came out of this as my health began to suffer.

What happened next was a gradual weight gain, over the course of high school and beginning of college. I hovered around a size 14, then up to a 16, and finally, 18 and got more and more depressed. When I got married two years ago, I refused to have engagement pictures taken because I was too embarrassed to put them in the local papers for fear of what f
ormer classmates and family friends would think. My husband has always been supportive of me, through thick and thin ( literally) but to be honest, I'm miserable.

When I became pregnant with my daughter, I lost weight. I knew I couldn't afford to gain so I ate healthily, and a hefty dose of nausea and acid reflux helped keep my eating in check. Even so, I was diagnosed with pregnancy-induced hypertension. I went on medication, and was monitored closely. Thankfully, my daughter and I are both quite healthy, but who knows? If I weighed 50 lbs less, it may have never happened. On the other
hand, it might happen again no matter what I weigh..but still. After she was born, I lost a quick 20 lbs but managed to gain it back while sitting at home and being lonely with a newborn.

So, where does this leave me 1 year after her birth? Ready for a new lifestyle, that's for sure! I do n
ot want to slip back into obsessive calorie counting and exercise again, as I know I'm prone to do. So my goal is simply to eat healthily, eat smaller amounts, and get a consistent exercise routine going.

I'm sure y'all have heard of P90X, well...I'm not in good enough shape for that. But the same company has a 'baby P90x' of sorts, called Power90. It is designed for out of shape people, and is 3 months long. I ordered it today and am an
xiously awaiting its arrival. I'm hoping a structured, daily workout will help me gain strength and get in the habit of working out & feeling better about myself. In addition, I am logging my food intake at sparkpeople.com, and using some of their goal tracking tools.

I hope to document this transition on the blo
g..the successes, and plateaus, new recipes and hopefully some inspirational stories. My first goal is 50 lbs, and I'll re-evaluate after that. I also indulged in a tried and true pick me up this week :



And tonight I'm coloring my hair, so that should be interesting as well. Its sad to say, but in many ways I feel like I've given up, because I feel so unattractive. Hopefully I can strengthen not just my body, but my relationship with God as well, because if I look for fulfillment in appearance alone, I will always be lacking.

'I can do all things through Christ, Who strengthens me'

Phil 4:13


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