New Season, Big Changes

As summer draws to a close, and Fall begins to creep in, I've decided to do some reflecting on my priorities. Blogging has fallen behind a long list of other things occupying my time, but not for my lack of desire to write. I've tried many things to start a new post...and found nothing that sparked my interest to blog about.

But in the end, I've realized that writing really is an outlet for me, something that helps break up the monotony of day to day chores and routines. Other blogs inspire me to think critically, examine other ideas/ways of life, and inspire me with ways to enrich my own.

So here I go- I'm going to just start writing until I get back in the hang of it. I don't even know if anyone checks this blog anymore, but I'm hoping to have some interesting & thought-provoking posts here soon! :)

I repent, I repent of my pursuit of America's dream
I repent, I repent of living like I deserve anything
Of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
In our suburb where we're safe and white
I am wrong and of these things I repent
I repent, I repent of parading my liberty
I repent. I repent of paying for what I get for free
For the way I believe that I am living right
By trading sins for others that are easier to hide
I am wrong and of these things I repent

I repent judging by a law that even I can't keep
Of wearing righteousness like a disguise
Just to see through the planks in my own eyes
I repent, I repent of trading truth for false unity
I repent, I repent of confusing peace and idolatry
Of caring more of what they think than what I know of what we need
Of domesticating you until you look just like me
I am wrong and of these things I repent


Derek Webb's " I Repent"

Shameless photo post

Every Season

The last few months have been some of the best-and most challenging- of my life. The joyous arrival of a healthy baby girl, and time spent learning what it is to be a new family- are wonderful things. However, all of these wonderful events have had a dark side for me. Blame it on postpartum hormones, blame it on a discontented spirit; either way, I haven't been happy. Whether it was struggling with nursing, extremely low self esteem, weight loss, or super tight finances..each day has been a battle. First it was TV- if only we had cable and internet back, I'd have something to watch or keep me entertained while I was up all hours with the baby. Then it was my husband's car breaking down (thus turning us into a one car family)- which left me at home with a newborn and no ability to go places, every.single.day. If only we had 2 cars again, I'd be happy. Then it was fantastic weight loss, which turned into weight gain as I started taking Domperidone, a medication to help with milk supply- which also made me pack back on the pounds. If I lost weight I'd be happy. Other days I'd think if only we had a bigger/better house, I'd be happy. If only my husband graduated sooner and got a better paying job quicker, life would be better. I especially thought this after more than one argument about where my maternity leave savings had gone; because it had all but vanished- whoosh! Gone. That's right, more money would make me happy.

Except...

Contentment in where I am now, with what I have now, is the only thing that will be fulfilling. We've never gone without, are taken care of and have endless things to be thankful for. I've got a loving husband, a beautiful daughter, great friends and family, and no material object or social ideal will ever compare.






This is one of my favorite songs- one that reminds me that no matter where I am, or whats going on- I have much to be thankful for. God teaches us lessons in every circumstance, if we are willing to see and to listen. I'm actually pretty ashamed to admit my lack of contentment. Wise people have always told me that faith-like life- is about the journey and not a destination. May I remember this and purpose to see the good in each small thing, and to take joy in where He has me.


And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28, ESV

Being Still

To be silent does not mean to be inactive; rather it means to breathe in the will of God, to listen attentively and be ready to obey.

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Meditating On The Word

Taking a deep breath...

I'm attempting to revamp my blog, and add new fonts, gadgets etc. Only problem is- I do NOT do html code very well. I usually mess things up by one small keystroke and then get really angry, and want to chuck the whole computer out the window.

Anyway.

Please be patient with me- I'm sure things will look a little goofy for a while as I stumble through this. Looking forward to lots of posting soon!!

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice You
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

-Nichole Nordeman